【ＨＩＲＡＥＴＨ】- 𝒥. 𝒦𝒶𝒽𝓃𝓌𝒶𝓁𝒹

Ｔｈｅ ｎｏｒｍａｌ

My black rain jacket hangs over my frame loosely, stained with dirt and mud. The fabric is worn, eaten at by the radiation covering us from head to toe at all times. The clothe covering my mouth does little to hide the bruises and dirt peeking out on my pale skin, painting me in a wild picture. 

I lean further over my knees, my gloved hands touching the small spot of blood on the front step, the liquid haven darkened over night and turned into a black rusty color. The wind rustle, as if to warn me of my movements, so i pull back and sniffle, glancing up at the window where Jonas was sleeping, but the slightest movement from the ruined glass makes me know that he's awake. 

Standing up from my position, my pants doing nothing to warm up my cold legs, i open the door and step inside just as the blonde boy walk down the stairs, his eyes void of emotion, and his gaze never reaching me as he move forward, stopping to look at his old living room. The Kahnwald residence is merely a shell of its own past, ruined and runned down after all the years it's been unoccupied, radiation and mother nature fighting with each other to take it. My eyes rack over his form as he walk forward to grip the picture somehow still intact on the wall. I clench my jaw, looking away, fighting the urge to scream my lungs out. 

"We have to go" i finally speak, voice slightly hoarse, quiet as i inform him. He still, standing quietly before he turn to look at me, picture frame clutched between his fingers, eyes racking me as a small glimmer of yearning pass by his face. I don't expect any response, since he hasn't given me one for almost the whole time we've been here. My eyes narrow, and i rip my eyes away from him, shaking my head, before i walk out - chest tightened with fury and grief. 

He catch up with me quickly, walking quietly next to me as he as well pull up his hood and clothe. I notice the way he is tensing the closer we get to the building, and although i wish we were the same, his frame is much bigger than me now that i've gotten more malnourished. 

The sound of the helicopter thing doesn't faze us anymore, none of us lifting our gaze to look at it as we walk down the cracked pavement, ruined buildings and overgrown scenery passing us by. It's not interesting, nothing of it is anymore. It's started to be familiar, almost hauntingly familiar. The tension between us is higher today, as it has been building since the day he started to ignore my presence. It's rare that he share any thoughts with me, any words - and i want to know why but i don't think i will get to know it. 

At first, i thought we could get through it together, but the more days pass that we're stuck here, the worse the whole thing seems to get. It's like something is pulling us away from each other, ever since we met out future selves, ever since the kiss. The lump in my throat, and the tightness in my chest has been building alongside it, wanting to give him space, understanding that he may not be as interested in me as i had hoped. 

A muffled bang comes from somewhere far off as Jonas lean down to check in a car. I bounce on the heel of my feet, trying to ignore the starving hunger twisting at my insides and the dryness in my mouth. I send a alarmed look the way the sounds echoes, and Jonas glance over his shoulder as well, his eyes narrowing. I find myself staring at him, his tousled dirty blonde locks, his pained eyes and his tan and filthy skin. Even with all of that, i can't help but think he looks beautiful. It's like the paintings that  shows the sadness, anger and burden that it carries. 

"I miss you" i blurt out. That's the 150th time i've said it. This is the 150th day. The words come out almost numbly now, almost void. But there's still some honesty in it, even though it gets smaller every day that passes. Jonas meets my eyes, his ones connecting with me in a silence as he stand up tall, almost hovering over my now as i sink into my frame. My exhaustion must be very noticable, because Jonas blink at me, an expression of pity flashing my his eyes as quick as lighting, before he turn away, standing still only for a few more seconds before he walk off. 

The hope in my chest is burned out, and i release a shaky breath before following him, steps small and quiet as i trudge after. 

We enter the school, scanning the empty building as we continue walking up the stairs, into classrooms and bathrooms, trying to find a sign of anyone we may have known, to find a sign if there is anyone alive. But as usual, the building is just an empty, echoing box of memories. When we get to the p.e hall, i begin to look around for anything helpful, eventually finding a box of electronics that i give to Jonas, and he begins to screw with, taking any part he thinks we may need or whatnot. 

As he do this, i walk over to the window, peeking out as muffled bangs are heard from somewhere in the distance. I see the car beyond a few  trees, so i turn my head, nodding to the outside. "We have to leave" I murmur. Jonas quickly pack his stuff, before he follows me in tact as we begin to walk down the road, before continuing into the forest. I notice Jonas has that light we got from future us, but i don't bother comment on it, only turning to look at my feet. 

When we eventually get to the bunker, Jonas push away all the trees and stuff, opening it. He holds it open, staring at me expectantly as i brush past him and walk down the stairs, nose scrunching up at the smell emitting from the room. The hatch creaks and falls shut, and then i feel Jonas's presence warming me from behind as he walk close to me, one of his hands placed on my waist in comfort. When we get down, i walk over to the light, flipping it on as Jonas sort through the stuff we got, hanging his backpack thing up, beginning to look at the pictures lined at the wall. I don't bother, only sitting down on the old sleeping back, curling my legs underneath myself as i put my head in my hands, ignoring the way my body hurts. 

The hunger and pain doesn't hurt nay less, but you get numb to it after a while, it's more like a nagging in your brain, or a mosquito that continues swirling around you. You're reminded of something being wrong, but you ignore it and hopes it goes away. Shuffling is heard from the other side of the room, before footsteps, and then he stop in front of me, crouching down. I keep my head down, until he tap the side of it, making me lift my gaze. 

He send me a wavering smile, eyes scanning my face as he hold out something with his hand. I look at it, swallowing thickly as i see the small pendant with what almost looks like a coin at the end of it. As i only stare at it, Jonas nudge me gently with it. I smile, holding up my hair as he move to crouch behind me, fastening the lock. It almost burns against my chest, and i feel a gloveless hand brush my hair over one of my shoulders, before warm breath hits the back of my neck.

"I miss you too" Jonas breathe out, making goosebumps rise as i swallow. He lean forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the skin on the nape of my neck, before he stands up, walking over to the table with different stuff like it didn't happen. I however, feel my heart beat like crazy, like it's going to explode, and i brush my hair back, ignoring the small smirk that pulls on his lips, before he gets that hurt and exhaustion back, starting to rummage through the survivor tapes i'm pretty sure we've listened to a thousand times. 

He push in a tape, and the sound of the woman speaking in the recorder fills the room, echoing of the four walls. I tune it out, beginning to think that the only reason we continue listen is so that we won't feel as out of place, as alone. The boy sinks down beside me, and i slowly lean my head down to rest at his shoulder. He glance at me, before he place his hand down on my knee, brushing his thumb soothingly, and although we're not as close anymore, i think this is the least lonely i've felt in many months. 

The pendant burn against my chest, but right now i can't be sure if it's actually the pendant, or the tightness leaving just the slightest.

(AN- just a slight short chapter to explain how their relationship is doing right now , feel free to ask any question :).  Also, let me know how appropiate smut would be for you guys reading )