dead to me| 2- s. r

SIXTEEN

Adjusting the collar of your shirt, you walk into the familiar building attempting to push down the nerves about the situation. You've managed to convince yourself that this was the right thing to do and that it wouldn't be as hard as you're making it seem. You're tempted to lie to Spencer, but it's not something you're willing to risk when Nathanial has people watching you for him on the outside, and until you have any idea who, Spencer's not safe.

As usual, you're taken to a private viewing room that Hotch typically arranges for you both. The privacy of the room makes it easier to talk to Spencer without the risk of someone overhearing, which is exactly what you need right now, especially since Nathanial has people in the prison where Spencer's being held.

You feel your stomach physically drop when you see Spencer in the room. He looks worse than you've ever seen him, a dark purple bruise around his eye that must have been fresh, and cut along the curve of his jawline, a few other minor scratches littering his hands and face. You resist the urge to lift your hand up and brush your hand against the injuries, but you instead opt to keep your hands clenched at your side.

Once the guard is out of the room and you're left alone, Spencer comes to give you a hug, but you hold your hand up in front of you to stop him. "Sorry, I'm not really supposed to be touching the prisoners."

His entire expression drops and he looks at you blankly, letting his hands fall back to his sides, clearing his throat awkwardly. He watches as you go to sit down across from him, mirroring your actions as he sits adjacent to you.

"Is something wrong?"

You fiddle with your fingers, "I can't come and see you here anymore, Spencer." He furrows his brows at you, noticing the way you've managed to completely control your microexpressions. "I've already called Hotch and told him I won't work this case, and after today, I won't be coming to visit anymore."

"I-I don't understand," he replies, his voice wavering slightly. You can detect fear in his eyes at the mention of him being alone in here, but if Nathanial holds up his end of the deal, he won't be in here much longer. "You promised. You said you wouldn't forget about me in here."

"Promises are for children, Reid. You didn't seriously believe me, did you?"

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious. Knowing him, he'll apologize without even knowing what he did wrong. Surprisingly, it wasn't him that did anything this time, this one was all you.

"You've done a lot of things wrong. You can't blame me for not wanting to stick around." Your words alone look like they've hurt him more than the beatings and bruises he's got in prison. It was a low blow on your behalf because you knew that saying that would hit Spencer where it hurts the most.

"Look, whatever I've done to upset you, just know that I'm sorry-"

"I'm seeing someone," you cut him off. His mouth snaps shut and he forms his lips into a line, nodding his head. "I can't let my life revolve around you anymore because it's suffocating."

"I see," he murmurs, hanging his head down low. He chuckles lowly, shaking his head, "So all this time, I never really had a chance, did I?"

"It's on you if you thought you did. I was very clear about my intentions from the beginning- it was just sex to me."

His tongue flicks out to lick his lips and he shakes his head, sniffling softly, "If something's happened, you can tell me. I can help you-" You cut him off with a laugh, shaking your head, "What are you going to do? Help me from your prison cell?" His eyes gloss over and he bites his bottom lip softly. "It was just sex, Spencer."