dead to me| 2- s. r

SEVENTEEN

After a week passed following Spencer's release from prison, as well as the last time you saw him, you've been met with complete and total radio silence on his and. You'd be lying if you said that it wasn't expected, and you'd certainly be lying if you also said that it wasn't well deserved on your behalf. Despite knowing that you did what you did for Spencer's sake, it doesn't help the fact that you feel horrible for it, but knowing that you can't change it or take it back somehow makes the entire situation worse.

You've taken the week off work and have decided to stay in your apartment the entire time, feeding yourself frozen dinners and mac and cheese, the occasional jar of alphabet soup. You'd order takeout, but at this point, you were too paranoid to do so, especially with your previous track record with delivery boys.

You've tried to read several books to keep your mind focused on the task at hand rather than Spencer, wondering what he could be doing. Obviously, it didn't prove very helpful because you couldn't read more than a sentence before your mind wanders to Spencer, revisiting the temptation to go and visit him, knowing that after the damage has already been done, going to see him would only do more harm than good.

You could live with him hating you so long as it means he's safe and out of harm's way, far from Nathanial's grasp.

It terrifies you how even behind bars, Nathania still has his ways of tormenting you. It really makes you wonder what it would be like if he wasn't trapped behind those metal bars, the thought making your stomach turn, knowing he would be ten times worse than he is now. You know that when it comes to you, Nathanial will do anything to get to you, to taunt you, and torment you. Even four years later and in prison, he still knows exactly what strings to pull to have you completely at his mercy. If Nathanial is the puppetmaster, that makes you the puppet, completely powerless to him as he has complete control, the upper hand on you always. No matter how hard you try, he is always some step ahead of you, and it makes it nearly impossible for you to outsmart him, or even predict what his next move may be.

Which is precisely why playing it safe, and keeping your distance from Spencer, is basically the best possible solution right now.

You tear your gaze from the plant in the corner when you hear your phone ring, perking up on the sofa and extending your arm out to the coffee table to grab it, answering the call without hesitation, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"I gotta say I'm surprised, I didn't think you had it in you."

You flinch at the sound of Nathanial's voice, pulling the phone away from your ear to check the number, not recognizing it. You're also not met with the usual automated message from the prison, meaning that Nathanial is somehow calling you directly to surpass all that. "How are you calling me right now?"

"It's not hard to get a burner phone in prison, Y/N," he answers simply.  "I knew that now that you got what you want, you'd ignore my calls if I called you from the prison numbers. So, I decided that I'd have to improvise if I wanted to talk to you."

"What's there to talk about? I held up my end of the deal and you held up yours," you answer simply, shrugging your shoulders.

"Oh, I know, I heard you made poor little Dr. Reid quite upset. I wish I could have seen it, but alas I couldn't,"  he sighs, and you can practically already feel your patience running thin with him. "I'm just calling to remind you of our deal. I did you favour by helping out your loverboy, now if you want him to stay unharmed, stay the hell away from him and we won't have a problem."

"I remember our deal quite well, Nathanial. I'll keep my word so long as you keep yours."

"I'd like to hear a thank you before I let you go," he replies, and you don't have to see his face to know that he's looking like a smug motherfucker right now. You clench your jaw and grit your teeth together, "I mean, after all, I didn't ask for much to help you and your loverboy out. I could have made things very difficult for you, so I think I at least deserve a thank you for it."