The Only Way I Can Be Beautiful

Stacey's POV

Skinny. Skinny. Skinny. Skinny.

This word bounces around my head. This is the only way i'll be pretty. This is the only way people will like me. "Everyone hates you because you're fat. Don't you know that?'' Whispers that little voice in my head. My voice. The voice of everyone else. It's true, I don't have any friends. They think I'm different and weird and they don't like me. But if I'm skinny, they will. Maybe I'll be skinny enough to be a model. Then they will like me, everyone will like me. People will want to be me and they will be jealous. I can't wait for that day. But for now, no eating. Eating will ruin me, eating will make me worse. "Think about your thighs, think of your stomach." I quietly said to myself. "Honey, come downstairs we have guests!" yelled my mother. "Coming!" I scream. I flushed the toilet and unlocked the bathroom door. I stepped out and ran down the stairs. "Who is it?" I asked as I rounded the corner into the living room. I stopped dead in my tracks and my mouth dropped a little. Standing in front of me was the most perfect human being I had ever seen. He was tall, skinny and had shaggy black hair that covered his eyes. He had a Pierce The Veil shirt, black skinny jeans, a pair of vans and snakebites. I was a sucker for snakebites. "Honey, these are our new neighbors, Mrs. Smith and her son Skye" said my mother. Ok be cool, be cool. Close your mouth and BE COOL! "Hi, I'm Stacey, nice to meet you" I said shaking they're hands. He had nice hands, rough but not in a bad way. I started fantasizing about those hands hugging me, wrapping around my waist. My waist, ugh, my fat waist. "Hey" said Skye, flicking his hair to the side. He had grey eyes, and they were beautiful. "So, Skye and you are in the same grade and since you'll be starting school in a week, I was thinking tomorrow you could take him over to the high school and show him around" stated my mother. She gave me a look saying 'you really don't have a choice' not that I needed one. "Ok, is that good with you?" I asked Skye. 'Yeah I guess."

The next morning I woke up at 9. I was meeting Skye in an hour to give him a tour of the school. My stomach growled at me. "Shh" I whispered. Don't eat. It will ruin you. Just ignore it. One day you'll be skinny and you can eat, that day just isn't today. I got up and pulled on a pair of blue skinny jeans and a black hello kitty t-shirt. I straightened my hair then put on a little eyeliner and mascara. I pulled on my chucks and got up. I went down to the kitchen where my mom was standing at the stove. "Good morning Baby Girl, how did ya sleep last night?" She asked. "Good how about you?" "Fine, you want anything to eat? I made chocolate chip pancakes. You're not to old for chocolate chip pancakes are you?" She questioned. They looked good, really good. They smelled heavenly. Snap out of it! "No, I'm not really hungry, I'll just have some water" I said. My mom gave me a worried look, but said nothing. I grabbed a cup out of the cabinets and got some water from the sink. Mm, water, tastes......delicious. I really am desperate. It tastes like nothing. But hey, at least I'm losing weight. "So, did you like the neighbors?" My mom questioned. "Yeah, they seemed nice." "I saw you staring at Skye, he is pretty cute isn't he?" He mother asked me, smirking. "What?! Was it that noticeable?!?" I yelled, shocked. "Well I was the only one who saw....I think" she said. Oh, well this is great. Now he's gonna think I'm a freak. Great way to start off the morning.

Skye's POV

"Skye, wake up! You need to meet that nice neighbor girl, Stacey today!" My mom was standing in my doorway, how the hell was she so perky? I was 9 in the morning. "Ok, gimme like, 30 minutes." I mumbled. She left and started cooking. I could smell bacon, yum. I sighed and stumble out of bed. I took a quick shower then blow dried and straightened my hair. I pulled on an Asking Alexandria shirt, grey skinny jeans and some vans. I found myself looking in the mirror for a long time. I don't know why but I really wanted to impress Stacey today. She was cute. I walked down the stairs and turned into the kitchen. I took a piece of bacon off of a paper plate sitting on the counter. Extra crispy, just the way I like it. "Hey hey, wait til everything's done" my mom said. "Are you excited for school?" She asked. "Why wouldn't I be excited to get locked up in a prison full of judgmental pricks and airheads for nine months?" I said. "Oh come on, it won't be that bad, you're a nice boy, maybe if you tried a little harder you could make some friends. And I think that Stacey likes you, be nice, she looks like a good girl." Stacey like me? She was pretty, and she seemed nice but I really didn't get a chance to talk to her. "It's ten, you should probably go over to her house so you can see the school" said my mom. I got up and walked to the front door right before I left my mom stopped me and said "I know you hate moving around so much, and I'm sorry, but this is the last move for a long time, and I love you, always remember that." "I love you too mom" and I meant it. My dad walked out on us when I was 8, he left us for an 18 year old playboy model. My mom was single and raising a kid, and we didn't have much money, but she always made the best of everything and bought me special things. She gave up everything for me, and I really appreciated it. I walked down the driveway and down the sidewalk to Stacey's house. I knocked on the door and immediately Stacey opened it. Almost like she was waiting for me. "Hi! Ready to see the school?" She asked. She seemed really excited. "Uh, ya I guess." "We live a couple blocks away so we can just walk to school. She chattered away the entire time, I didn't get a word in until we actually got to the school. McKinley High School, to be exact. We walked down the dimly lit hallway. I looked at her and realize how skinny she actually was, she looked sickly. But still pretty.

"So, what do you and your friends usually do for fun here?" I questioned. She got really quiet and looked at her feet. "Well, uh, I honestly don't have friends. I had a best friend but she moved away in 6th grade and we don't talk much anymore. But, hey it doesn't matter." How could she not have friends? She was smart and kind and gorgeous. "Oh. Well we can hang out sometime I you want." I said. I hope it didn't sound weird, I hope she doesn't know I like her. She smiled and said "that would be great. Do you have your schedule?" I pulled it out and gave it to her. "Well, we have the first three periods and lunch together. Your first class is Algebra with Mr. Angelly, he's nice, but strict. You have that in room 23 on the second floor" she said while climbing the stairs. I followed her up and we checked out the classroom. Next we went to the art room and the health room which had some uh..... Pretty graphic posters on the wall, if you know what I mean. After looking through the entire school I suggested going to the diner a couple blocks from here. I ate there my first night in town and it was amazing. Her face got all dark and she looked a little panic-y. "Uh, uh sure" she said. We walked in silence to the diner. We sat down in a booth and I ordered a burger with fries and a large chocolate milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry. I eat like this all the time but I never gain any weight. When the food arrived I noticed Stacey staring at it. Then her stomach started growling. "You what any?" I asked. "No im....fine" she said. But I knew she was lying. "Stacey, be honest, are you anorexic?" I asked. She looked disgusted with me, but in her eyes I saw something else. Was it.... Shame? Then all emotion left her face and was replaced with anger. "Wh-what?" She sputtered. "No! I can't believe you would ask that!" She jumped up from the booth and left. Good fucking job. I pulled a twenty out and left it on the table then got up to go after her, but by that time she was gone.

Stacey's POV

I can't believe he said that. Not him. He will never want to be my friend. Now he probably thinks I'm a crybaby because I ran away. I sprinted down the sidewalk and in the front door. My mom wouldn't be home for a couple of hours. Good. I ran into my room and cried in my pillow. When I finally finished crying I turned on some music.

I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark,

But now I know my wounds are sewn

Because of who you are I will take this burden on

And become the holy one

But remember I am human and

am bound to sing this song

This made me cry all over again and I don't know why. It felt good to cry. To just let it all out. He was my last chance. I heard a knock at the door. I knew who it was and I wasn't going to get it. He waited, then knocked again. And again. Finally the knocking stopped. About five minutes later I heard a tapping sound on my window. It turned my head and he was sitting on the tree limb outside my window. What the fuck was wrong with him? He could kill himself! I jumped up and opened the window. He crawled in. "Thanks" he panted. "Look I'm really sorry, that was stupid and insensitive, it's just, I thought you were and I don't want you to be. I had an older sister and she was anorexic and she died, and I know I don't know you that well but I like you a lot and I don't want anything to happen to you and-" "Wait, you like me?" I asked. My heart started racing and I had to fight back a smile. I wanted him to think I was still mad. "Well, yeah. Your pretty and funny and smart and kind." He said. That's it, I was crying again. "Woah, woah I'm sorry what did I do? If I hurt your feeling I didn't mean it, what can I do to fix it?" He asked. "No no, it's just, I'm really happy you like me, because I like you too, but yeah I am anorexic. It's just, I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty or skinny and I need to be. You have no idea what it's like Skye." I sobbed. "Why do you think you're not good enough?" He questioned. "I don't know, I'm just not." "Well you're wrong" he Said then he leaned down and kissed me. It was soft and sweet and long, and he tasted like the chocolate milkshake he had earlier. I loved it, it was perfect.

~~~~~10 MONTHS LATER~~~~~~

Skye and I were dating and we were in love. I told my mom about my problem and I got help. Now I am a normal weight and I'm not afraid of eating anymore, of course every once in a while my old thoughts come back, but I quickly shake them off because I know they're wrong, I know I'm perfect just the way I am. Skye and I are about to graduate and we can't wait! We are moving to an apartment in Washington next fall and will live together. I'm so glad Skye came in to my life. He is my Savior.