i think i killed my friend

11 june 2018

jennifer. jennifer was the name of the woman who is my mother. i didn't remember it. i saw it on her driving license when she opened up her wallet to pay for gas and lunch. i still haven't told her that her daughter doesn't remember her.

i was discharged from the hospital. the doctors wished me well and said my memories would come back to me soon. jennifer drove us home. i sat next to her. in silence. i don't know what to say. i don't have anything to say. jennifer looked over at me a couple times. it seemed like she has something to say but she knows she can't. she turned up the radio but the silence is still louder.

i spent the rest of the ride looking out window. the weather is amazing. the only thing that bothered me was that i have absolutely no memories of my neighbourhood. the trees and the streets on the way home doesn't feel like home. i don't even remember my house. the one place that i should. everything feels strange and jennifer felt like a stranger.

the house is beautiful though. it seemed like we're well off. i must have been either the happiest child or the most spoilt brat alive. the porch is huge too. we have the view of the lake. it's the most beautiful scene i've seen in a while. although, to be fair, all i have seen so far is the hospital.

the interior is stylish and comfortable. there's natural lighting and big windows everywhere. the house is furnish in wood, white and plants. but my room is very different. my bedroom doesn't match the style of the rest of this place. my room is dark. badly lit. my curtains were drawn shut. the only thing that is bright is the screen from my laptop.

i sat at my messy desk and moved the mouse. password. what's my password? i tried my birthday. it didn't work. i tried jennifer's birthday. it didn't work. for some reason, i decided to try margo rose's birthday. i don't know why i did but i did. and it worked. why did it worked? i unlocked my laptop. with margo rose's birthday. how did i even know when's margo rose's birthday?

and that's when i realised what the policemen meant. they told me i was very important to margo rose. they told me i might be the reason why margo rose died. they told me i have to remember what happen during our road trip. they told me to remember why we crashed. they told me that i'm crucial to this case. they told me so much and yet so little. i couldn't understand even if i wanted to.

they also told me that they believed i wasn't the one who harmed margo rose. but i didn't tell them that i think i am.