Exquisite Torture

I.

Living in the dorms had been Tharn's idea. It was a quintessential college experience and he wanted to enjoy it, the same as everyone else.

It was also a chance for him to get his head back in the game after losing it so epically during his last relationship. It wasn't hard for him to recognise that his life had become a little too chaotic. It wasn't just the break up with Tar that had shaken him up. It was the fact that he didn't think he could have a normal relationship any more.

Living in the dorm would force him to concentrate on his school work and think about what he wanted to do with his life. It wasn't hard to imagine that he could work with his father when he was done with his four years of college. But music was his passion and he wanted to see how far he could take it. He liked performing but he really wanted to produce music. He was here to learn everything he could. Make a career out of what had always been an enjoyable hobby.

Then his roommate walked into their shared dorm room and he felt himself waver. Then he felt himself slide. Then he caught himself before he could do something completely insane and fall in love at first sight. But it was difficult to do especially when the other boy gave him a shy smile and a polite bow.

What had he done to deserve this?

"So, what's your roommate like?" Lhong asked the minute Tharn walked into class on Monday.

[Author's note: My version of Lhong is not evil...he's just a kinky little devil.]

"He's fine."

"Really? That's all you can say?" Lhong's disbelief absolute, "Is he handsome? What's he studying? Do you think he's gay? What if he's..."

"Really Lhong, you think the first thing I did when I met my roommate was to interrogate him? We have the entire semester to get to know each other."

"Are you telling me you don't already know if you're compatible?"

Tharn had done exactly that. But he wasn't about to tell Lhong about it. Everything about Type screamed to him but there was also a very real barrier between them. Something about him also felt very familiar; perhaps too familiar. But Tharn had wracked his brain and nothing had come of the effort.

The only thing he was certain of was he wasn't interested in starting a new relationship.
Not with anyone—especially not his straight, extremely handsome, sports major roommate.

Yet when he got back to his room that afternoon, it was to find that Type had already settled in and his side of the room reflected his personality in every inch. Instead of Tharn's music, he had sports posters decorating his wall. He stepped close to take a look at the picture on the wall and the ball practically jumped off the page and into a long-forgotten memory.

Tharn knew exactly who Type was.

There had been a story in the newspaper. Tharn hadn't understood most of what had been written about the boy in the picture. But there was something about his face that had called to something in Tharn. He had kept that cut-out with him for years. Not knowing why he felt so attached to it. Eventually, the incident had faded from his mind.

Everything except the image of a boy and his football. A boy who looked lost and sad and in need of a friend.

Tharn didn't know what he was going to do. With the scattered memories of what had happened to Type running through his head, he didn't know if it was okay to bring it up. He didn't know Type well enough to predict his reaction. But wouldn't it be worse if he didn't say anything and Type found out?

He didn't want to think about Type. No matter how attracted he was to the other man, he had his own problems to do deal with. His desire for power and control had cost him a relationship he valued. But no matter how hard he tried to stop, he couldn't.

It was who he was on a fundamental level. Just like the colour of his eyes or the people he was sexually attracted to.

Tharn knew himself a lot better after years of exploring his needs. While his desire was unconventional it was not unreasonable. It just wasn't the kind of thing he would ever wish on an unwilling partner. With his bad luck in relationships, it didn't seem like it was something he could wish on a willing partner either. Because no matter how much he longed for a partner; someone he could share himself with fully, he had a way of going through relationships faster than he could keep track of.

He knew he was attractive. People were drawn to him. But they always changed their minds when they realised that he wanted complete and absolute submission. Nothing could be withheld from him. Nothing was too much for him to take. And for the benefit of his protection, attention...and affection, he expected their trust.

He had plenty who were masochistic enough to play from time to time. But no one had been willing to step into the 24/7 lifestyle he wanted. Tar had come close. They had almost figured out a way to make things work for them. But in the end, Tar had wanted more normalcy. Not vanilla. Just not the endless demands that Tharn had deemed necessary for both punishment and pleasure.

Tar had said he found it humiliating. Wearing a butt plug to class wasn't fun, it was torture. Except for a masochist, torture was fun. He felt that Tharn pushed him too far and the fact that they had agreed to drop the safe words had come up again.

"There has to be a point I can say no—otherwise you're just a perverted freak using me without my consent."

The accusation had stung. The insult had lingered in his mind. But he also knew if he was going to truly be with someone, they had to trust him all the way. Safewords were for novices—and anyone he was with would have that choice until they talked about it. But complete subjugation didn't come with an escape clause.

He wanted it all. And he wanted it given freely.

Type would never be able to do that. Not with his past and not with who he was in the present. The chasm that separated them was too wide. That worked perfectly for Tharn. It would be time he would use to figure out if he could change. If he could find a safer balance for the people he asked to trust him without question. With Type there to act as an effect cock-blocker to any would-be suitors, Tharn could focus on school and sense.

[Author's note: This was supposed to be a one-shot but it got completely out of hand. Hold on to your seats, this is going to be a crazy ride. Or is me saying that redundant? Because you've seen the maturity rating, right?]