Hood Rats | Sandy Milkovich

Fake Adults

"No fucking way."

The other girl nodded, shoving a spoonful of rocky road into her mouth so that she didn't have to say anything else.

"No way!" Holly repeated, pushing her friend lightly. "I can't believe you actually fucked him."

Rory slapped her arm. "Keep it down, would you?" Unlike her at own house, you actually had parents to keep things from in the Everett household and Holly's parents didn't need to know what they were talking about.

"You're unbelievable," she informed her. Holly reached over to the end of her bed to grab the bowl of popcorn there.

Beside her Rory licked her spoon. "You know he took my underwear too?"

The look of amusement turned to disgust. "Which ones?"

"My good blue thong."

She gasped. "That bitch! He probably has them on some shrine of you by now."

"Shut up," she said, not really meaning it. They both sighed. It had been a while since they got to hang out like they used to, just the two of them. There was finally an opportunity to shit talk and relax in the other's company.

The ice cream was courtesy of Jay, who always got the girls a pint each when they had sleepovers as preteens. Holly got cookie dough or mint chocolate chip, and Rory always got rocky road, no exceptions. The flavors held so much nostalgia at this point that it was hard to eat ice cream without thinking of each other.

"So," Holly started, a mischievous smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "How was it?"

"Jesus-" Rory swiped a hand over her face and considered how detailed she was going to get.

The fan in the corner of the room creaked as it turned to rotate in another semi circle, blowing cool air over them. "Come on! You used to tell me everything." Her own words made her cringe again. Rory wasn't the only one withholding the truth from her best friend these days.

She huffed, throwing her head back to study the ceiling. "I mean- it was good. He almost dropped me half way through though."

Holly cackled so hard that she looked like she was going to fall off the bed. "I'm sorry," she wheezed. "But picturing that is the most absurd thing I've ever seen." The idea of Rory sleeping with Iggy in the first place was funny enough, but every detail so far just made it that much more hilarious.

When Holly was done laughing and Rory was nearly done with her ice cream, the younger girl got a second wind. "Please tell me you don't plan on fucking all of the Milkovichs."

"Ew!" Rory grabbed a handful of the popcorn and threw it. "I know my standards are low, but they aren't that low."

"Okay, okay." She started collecting the cornels that fell in her lap. "So is how dirty each of them are a factor? Because I wouldn't say Iggy is the cleanest looking of the bunch."

She considered the thought for a moment. "Actually, he was wearing deodorant, so points for that."

"Okay, which ones are off the table then, because you aren't being very convincing."

Another pause to think. Rory tapped her nails against the cardboard of the ice cream container. "Well, not Mickey, obviously. Colin... He's okay."

Her friend frowned. "Which one is that again?"

"The one in prison," she explained. "Joey is a little too nice, so not him."

The popcorn squeaked between her teeth. "So, what I'm hearing is only the blond ones?"