Lies beneath scintillating eyes | MINWON/MEANIE

14

WONWOO

(Loving you caused me so much pain but you're the type of pain i'm willing to take everyday.)

What will happen to his life now? Wonwoo thought. He achieved his dream, working and having a salary more than enough. Working in the hospital for the several months was already enough for him to support his own for 3 years or so. That hospital is really his sanctuary, though it's stressful sometimes. His marriage ended tragically but somehow it gives him a reason to do what he wants to do back then, hang out with his friends or what.

He arrived at his place, he wants to decorate his place but too lazy to do so. The beige and white color is already enough. It was 7pm already and he doesn't eat anything yet maybe when he got some other time he'll learn how to cook, fast food is not good for health. When he opened the fridge he saw the soju first before anything else so he grab one, one doesn't hurt him right? He opened it and put some on the glass, he also grab some chips from his snack drawer and finding some movies to watch. He choose to watch ghibli movies, but his mind seems to fly on the another planet. He can't understand anything, he finished his glass of soju without thinking twice and pour all of the remaining on his glass.

It is hot or only because he was already drunk? Wonwoo doesn't know. He unbottoned his polo and threw it away, he turned-off the television and put away the chips on his chest. He can't stand up properly so he decided to sleep on the couch, it's his house anyway. He have work for tomorrow but his mind and heart is not ready though he is not crying, his heart does a million times. Wonwoo hugged the pillow and pat his own head.
"You did well Jeon Wonwoo, you can do everything you're strong." He said to himself, no one else would say it to him so he does. Crazy how someone would hurt and torn you into pieces but you'd still love them in every pieces of you. It's crazy how Mingyu's feelings changed that fast, without any warnings. It hurts so much to end things because God knows how he wanted to work things out, how he tried to be strong for them, how he tried to fight for them. But as much as he trying to fight for them Mingyu is slowly drifting away from him, he lost Mingyu while fighting for them. He got tired of fighting ofcourse but he had no plans to gave everything up but sadly Mingyu do things to make him gave up.

Mingyu was a great person, he is the love of his life. He is his dream person, he is a good husband. Maybe he was not really good enough, he can't give Mingyu anything in return. He found it with someone and it makes Wonwoo hate himself. Even though he knew he lacked on something he can assured everyone that he don't lack on showing how he loves and how proud he is to have Mingyu in his life. He love Mingyu as much as he wanted Mingyu to love him, he supports him, cherish him. If only he could give his life to Mingyu he would do it without second thought. Mingyu wants a child and he can't give that, he needs to understand.
HE IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HIM.

Today is a very long day for Wonwoo, he is tired on what happened for this day. Physically, mentally tired. He just hoped for better days, for him and for Mingyu. He won't stop loving Mingyu but he needs to focus on his self now, eventually they'll find their way back into each other arms if it is for them. If not maybe in the next life time?