28 chances // Larry stylinson

Ready to die alone

The hospital room was cold, stale and stagnant. So was Harry's stare as Louis walked into the room.

Louis was correct it wasn't a wild night.

"Fucking wild night out," Harry whispered under his breath as his thumb stroked the side of his phone. He sat in his bed with tubes coming  from various places.

"Don't lie to me Harry,"

"Stop condescending me Louis I've done nothing wrong," he began to rip out the numerous tubes and began to stand up.

Quickly, Louis rose before Harry and stretched out his hand to keep him still, "don't!"

"Can you please just give me a minute," Harry sniffled as his slightly hooked nose scrunched up. He watched Louis begin to walk out the door but a white envelope that stuck out of his Jean pocket caught his eye. My letter. "Louis Is that my letter?"

"Oh um yeah," shuffling backwards like a small petite mouse, he pulled the letter from his back pocket, "I haven't opened it yet, I wanted you to read it to me." No Harry can't do that. It's not just any letter it's a good bye - in other words a suicide note...

Harry somehow found him self twiddling his letter in his hands whilst Louis sat at the side of his bed, he can't fully remember what he wrote so curiosity gets the better of him. On the front of the envelope it had quick yet neat cursive writing in which it read Louis. Gulping and heavily breathing, he slid his finger underneath the flap and pulled out the letter.

"Dear Simon, Dear world, Dear family and friends but most importantly Dear Louis,

Don't you think it's funny how I've seen the world but haven't seen any off it. Locked up in hotel rooms... The year I was tricked and forced into leaving the band I was trapped in my house for a year made to write song after song only to be told none of them were good enough. I was given drug after drug, every drug possible! But nothing was more addictive and numbing then harming myself. These ugly scars are because of you, Simon. They are on my skin but belong to you! Just like very other part of me.

I'm so utterly ashamed of my self. I'm pathetic - there's no excuse other than that. I'm pathetic because I have a family, a extremely well paying job, I'm physically healthy and I'm living a dream anyone would want. Now I find myself in a nightmare, a cruel twisted nightmare that I can't get out. Some people would die for what I have yet I have it and want to die, tell me that isn't selfish? Isn't it pathetic?

I have a great future but I don't want it anymore and it hurts that I don't want it but it hurts more knowing that by being here, alive, that I'm going to have to suffer that weight I carry everyday.

I don't want to worry about what I eat, I don't want to worry about how I look in pictures, I don't want to worry about releasing new music, I don't want to worry about what people think of me and I don't want to be THE HARRY STYLES, I just want to be Harry.

The only person who made me feel like Harry is no longer in my life anymore. They hate me. Yet, I still find myself in love with this person, the very person that's broken me too many times. I'm not ready to give up on this person because I know one day he will be ready to save me, we'll be free from Simon and the shit he puts us through. I've never been a patient person; waiting is such a tedious task for me especially when I'm waiting here - alone. So I figured it will be better in heaven cause I will get to see everything you do. I'll wait for you above Louis, because you are my person, the only one who can make me feel like me. So cruel it is because I can't have you so that's why I'm going above to get rid of the pain and so I'll be able to see you every day - I love you and always will.

I was once compared to a bouquet of flowers. I hated it, I thought that a single flower has more beauty than all of them combined and I was right. However now I see the tragedy in a singular flower, they die alone...

So they were wrong, I'm not a bundle of flowers I'm a single rose ready to die alone.

Always in my heart,
Harry Styles

Harry swallowed, thick and heavy as he folded the letter back up, finally lifting his head to meet Louis eyes. It's as if the the very blue ocean leaked from his iris spilling out onto his cheeks starting a streams of tears, "I love you and I'm so sorry for everything," he grabbed Harry's hand and randomly placed kisses in between words.

"I love you too," Harry stroked Louis hand in return.

"But you shouldn't! I left you alone, I slept with Eleanor - even though she took Advantage of me."

"She did what?"

"It doesn't matter right now what does matter is that I'm sorry. You called me 26 times that night and then you called me another time tonight! You have given me 27 chances Harry and I don't deserve any of them!" Louis was practically sharing the bed with Harry now as he leaned closer to his face.

"Why didn't you answer tonight?"

"I missed your call because Simon knocked me out because I was kicking off about the pictures." What pictures... oh. Retracting his hand, Harry wrapped his arms around himself and himself only, completely ignoring Louis.

"Please don't be mad Harry they aren't real! They are edited, I mean come in Haz I'm obviously bigger than that random man." Harry giggle and rolled his eyes as the colour came back to his face, "plus as I said that day, you are the only person I'd ever want to marry."

"I want to marry you too," Harry said as he noticed Louis leaning in, meeting there lips for the first time in what feels like infinity, they both smiled into the deepens kiss, at the familiar feeling of each other's lips.

"I knew the picture wasn't real," Harry mumbled into his lips, "his bum was to small to be yours." They both laughed as they shared another kiss.

Pulling back slightly, Louis paused "wait why did you do it then if you knew it wasn't real?"

"Because Lou, I know, no matter what you will never be mine." He said as the water refilled his eyes.

"Always," hmmm Harry hummed not understanding, "I know, no matter what you will always be mine, always in my heart Harry styles." Louis whispered into Harry's ear.

Showing his dimples, Harry's smile stayed as he began to fall asleep because he knew Louis would be here when he woke up because they loved each other, always.

When Harry woke up, Louis was no where to be seen.

***

Ahhhhh I'm nearly done with this fic and I'm tired and don't want to check for grammar errors so ignore please xoxo