Sinners Are Winners [bxb]

Chapter Twenty-Four

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR- I am Homeless, I am Gay, I have AIDS, I'm New in Town

He suddenly laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, Ishy-Ishy-Ish-Ish, that is not how you kiss someone."

"Then how--" my mouth was open on the word 'how' when his open lips crashed into mine. I at least had the decency to make sure his mouth was properly closed. Instead of pulling away immediately-- like most kisses between lovers in heaven-- his deepened, making my eyes widen in surprise. He coaxed my lips into an unfamiliar, yet automatic rhythm between us. My lips were cold from the ice cream melting in my hand, but his were warm and inviting-- tasting only slightly like chocolate. I wasn't exactly sure what was happening, but it wasn't completely unappealing. I let my eyes flutter shut. Even more surprising was the hot, burning feeling stirring in my stomach.

When his tongue suddenly caressed mine, I ripped my head back. I stared at him in shock. "Did you just lick my tongue?"

He chuckled and tilted his head, observing my disheveled expression. "Technically, I guess I did." He shrugged and looked at me for a moment. "So..." he trailed, "how'd that feel?"

I channeled all my energy into looking more annoyed. "It felt gross. Your tongue is weirdly warm. And bumpy." And oddly not the worst thing I've had in my mouth. I took another bite of the peanut blast, thankful to have it to cool down.

Xavion pulled away and rolled his eyes at me. "Well, no fucking shit." He finally moved away from me. "If that didn't stir up anything, then you probably don't have feelings for me." His eyebrow raised. "Maybe you have homoromantic feelings for me, but you're asexual?" He pondered further. "Or, maybe you just dislike kissing?" He thought for a moment further. "But then what would be darkening your soul?"

I let him go off on his rant, more focused on processing what occurred a few seconds ago and eating my ice cream. I didn't want to tell him and boost his ego, but I had to agree that his version of kissing was much more enjoyable than mine.

"Biromantic?" Xavion wondered to himself, before rolling his eyes. "You know what, Ishy, sexuality doesn't even matter." He patted my shoulder. "Do what you want with who you want, legally and consensually."

Did I actually have a "crush" on Xavion? How did that even work? Wait-- did I like other men? Am I gay?

"Anyway, let's get back to Granny Gert's 'cause, as lovely as this dumpster is, I'm honestly just tired after seeing Ceilsea."

There was no way I was gay. I frowned and looked Xavion up and down again. He looked like he usually did. Annoying, cocky, strong, tall, soft lips-- fuck. How does one do the gay?

"Ishy?" He raised one of his thick eyebrows. "Ya good? You're kinda spacing out." He frowned. "Yo, I'm sorry I kissed you, if that's what it's about." He tilted his head, regarding me with concern. "I should have asked."

"I-It's fine." I finally paid attention. "I didn't ask first."

He hummed, but didn't look convinced. "You good?"

I'm maybe gay.

"Yeah!" I stretched a fake grin on my face. "Let's head back home!" I walked past him, away from the dumpster. I started heading down the sidewalk.

Xavion coughed behind me. "I admire the confidence, Ishy-- but you're going the opposite direction."

I felt heat in my cheeks-- an emotion I was starting to recognize as embarrassment. My cheeks flushed with paleness, I turned around and started going the opposite direction, passing Xavion.

He started following me, looking very relaxed and languid in comparison to my tense shoulders. I understood wrath and greed, but I really could not wrap my mind around the complex emotions behind lust-- if that really is what this is. As I walked, I noticed a group of beautiful girls. I scowled and looked at them, hoping to feel a spark of lust for them. Nothing. I glanced back at Xavion and had to look away as my stomach dropped. I looked back to the girls, then noticed a guy riding on some sort of weird, manual vehicle. I watched him, trying to summon lust. Again-- nothing.