Below the Sky

Chapter 18: Riana

Chapter 18: Riana

When I walked into the barn, I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight before my eyes. Laurel and Bill were sitting at our center table, a look on their faces that didn't give me a good feeling. Maya and Oliver were seated near them at the same table, Oliver looking sincere, but Maya...Maya had a look of venom on her face, like she was absolutely disgusted by something she had just learned.
I knew immediately when I saw them all sitting there that they knew. Somehow they had found out about me and Lila, and clearly didn't approve of it.
I noticed right away too that Lila wasn't in the space with her family. I scared the barn, looking through the loft and the entirety of the building, still not spotting her. I hoped that she had decided not to head here first, and had avoided a not so good conversation with her family. Somehow though, I knew that my hopes were not what had really happened.
"Riana, please have a seat," Bill rose from the table, showing me to a chair somewhere in the middle.
"Okay," I said. Nervously I sat down, feeling my heart racing.
"We need to talk," Laurel told me, her stern expression turning slightly softer, a hint of kindness in her voice. Bill shot her a look though, reminding her that there was no such place as sweetness in this current situation.
"Me and Laurel both agreed, you and Lila's relationship needs to come to an end," Bill said.
My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, and I felt my vision falter slightly. This wasn't happening, it couldn't. Lila's entire family didn't know about me and Lila's relationship. This was a bad dream I would surely wake up from soon.
"What, what do you mean?" I asked, my voice quivering. My face had to give away all my emotions, I didn't care though. I felt like I had a hole in my heart, one that had been filled with happiness, and Lila. Everything that had taken space in that hole was gone though, ripped out and shred to pieces.
"We mean, we saw you and Lila, doing things," Bill said. "We don't think that it's appropriate and you guys should really stop. We think it would be best if your relationship was strictly platonic from here on out."
I sat horrified, remembering that Maya and Oliver were right next to me, listening to this entire conversation. What would they think, now that the truth was out? Or worse, what if they saw what me and Lila were doing in the lake not an hour ago.
"But, but..." I began to shake, gentle quivers turning into full on throbbing. I had to grab onto the table to steady myself.
"Please Riana," Laurel's tone softened again. She looked truly sorry about what she was doing, but she must have felt that she didn't have a choice. "If you and Lila continue to engage in, activities, we'll have to send you home early and you won't see Lila again."
"No," the word came out softly, barely a whisper. Laurel and Bill heard it, obviously, but it was still so quiet.
"Yes, I'm sorry dear but this just cannot go on any longer," Laurel suddenly leaned in towards me, her sound level lowering significantly, "for god's sake there are children in this house. What if they had seen, or gotten, ideas."
I felt slightly relieved then, knowing that Maya and Oliver didn't see anything, but I was still horrified by the things Laurel was telling me. She just admitted to me that a fourteen and fifteen year old couldn't handle seeing people engaging in a relationship like the one me and Lila are...was, in.
My heartbreak turned to anger however all at once. I stood, preparing to yell at Laurel and Bill. They saw what was coming though.
"Riana, Riana please calm down," Bill grabbed my arm yanking me down. "We understand that you're upset, but truly, this is for the best," he said.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't believe it. I thought that seeing Lila hanging from the that window, trying to save Oliver in the fire, was the worst fear I would ever be in. Or the sadness I felt when I saw the pipe starting to fall, Lila gripping the top of it. What was happening at this moment was an entire different level of heartbreak though. Laurel and Bill, two people I loved dearly, were asking me to do an unthinkable thing. I thought I could trust them, that they would even trust me. Here they were though, telling me that I couldn't participate in a romantic relationship with Lila. And why though, because we were both women? I was certain that if Lila was a man, they would have gone as far as to be happy for me, even congratulating me for having someone to love. This was just so horrible though.
The water broke, and before I knew it tears were rushing down my face. My body was shaking uncontrollably from sobs that I couldn't release. I stood up, and fled from the room, trying to escape.
"Riana wait!" Bill called out to me. He got up, trying to run after me and catch me. I was too fast though, slipping past him and out the front door of the barn. I didn't know where to go, so instead I just ran. I was crying so hard I couldn't see anything, and running was hard with the sobs racking my body. I tore through overgrown grass, underbrush, all kinds of terrain. Some time before I realized it I was in the trees, tearing through the branches, ignoring the pain they caused when they cut my skin. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran.
At one point all the running caught up with me. I was heaving, and breathing was hard. So instead I stopped, laying at the foot of a tree, laying my head down on the ground. My heart was cracked in two, and I thought that if someone were to rip it out of my chest right this moment, they would pull out two pieces, instead of one full, heart. All I wanted was Lila, to be in her arms, to just be free to love her without the anger of my other ones. I realized then though that my love for Lila would never be accepted. No one would ever see us walking down the street, hand in hand, and think that we were such an adorable couple. We couldn't be married, legally, and kids were an entire different story. It was just that, we were an anomaly. A bug in the system. Something that shouldn't exist but does. No matter how badly I wished, how much I prayed, I would never, ever be able to love Lila the way I do without the being scorned by other people.
So I lay, sobbing, until I fell asleep, basking in my own self pity.