Youtuber oneshots

A million miles away Pt. 1

Hey, this is for my best friend, althoughruby. Shes been having a bit of a shit time of it recently, so i thought i'd give her some love.

P.s. Sorry its pt. 1, it made me cry and i couldnt see my screen properly so i had to stop...
Fangirl out x

Isit, alone in my bedroom. Shaking and trying so hard to keep the tears at bay, as I have been all day. They dampen my eyes and threaten to spill and I know that really I ought to let them. But I'm a coward, a selfish coward whose too scared to risk what comes after the tears.

     I feel like I'm drowning all day, everyday, because I don't let the tears escape so they build up inside of me and its like I'm stranded in the ocean trying constantly to fight off the ever closer darkness. I'm getting worse at that and I know it. Its closer now, it never really leaves, always at the back of my mind niggling, telling me to just give in.

    But I still hold onto to the tears because that feeling is better than the nothing that replaces it when Its gone. The emptiness; like all the emotion, all the sense of self and purpose , any morsel of who I am is missing. I could tell you my facts, who I am on paper but my gut feeling, I suppose you could say my soul, feels like its missing. I feel like an empty shell left shivering, alone, in the dark. I do wonder sometimes if anyone else feels like this, feels lost. If there is, I hope I find them, even if their a million miles away.

Dan wouldn't have to go that far to find his pair, his perfect match, his 'soulmate'. He would only need to go across the hall to the opposite flat to find the raven haired boy hiding underneath his covers.

       The boy who felt complete hatred for himself with no logical reason why. The boy who'd been told when he was 14 that they were just teenage hormones and he'd grow out of them. Well that was 12 years ago and the feeling didn't go away. It never left him a moment of peace to be himself, to be who he used to be, to feel safe again.                     Neither of them suffered some horrible experiences, they weren't abused or at risk. They were just invisible or so they thought, until they met each other.