"Oh great, another day?"
That's how a day starts in my head usually being quarter past 8 so precisely and cursing myself why tf did I have to turn back seeing the train hitting me so hard it threw me into reality. "Fine it will just be a normal day, I'll be fine ", what's normal btw? thinking so hard why do I even exist or why am I able to see things, how does an eye capture all colors of light and yet only seeing 10% if a human body is 70% water then how is it still 99% empty? As I come to my senses those poisoned arrows struck my back in the same place they always aimed for the past few years.
After the morning routine ^that^ it's a routine to roam around the home aimlessly or until mom yells 7th time to go freshen up until then I can't stop that don't ask why. Yea good news for me the day I wanted to get my head out of the pool the same day evening my cousin accidentally broke my phone kinda irony isn't it, I know it isn't. I still dunno why I am spending time writing this huge story, I think, I think I may find closure on the questions I always wanted to ask, Mom, says I've stopped talking like I used to yea there were times where I would just blabber my whole day to mom and she was so happy to listen to me too..... What should I tell her that I'm Thanantophobic and I hate socializing ??
But that's not totally true, I love being with people, talking, commenting on their hair, mostly mocking but the funny part is that I find it so hard to start a talk even if I did I dunno how long I can entertain them, Well that's the good part of being an introvert. But no one thinks that I'm an introvert cuz I don't keep anyone in a conversation I find it so easy to talk with my seniors and my professors like so good they are my friends. It's true as one day when i asked my class teacher for finding me a gud therapist he literally moved back to his chair and gave me a look like he scanned my whole body like a creepy robot (endhiran) would do getting his lost clues of why the fuck i was so much stupid and eccentric in his classes to which he did call me infront of me telling how important i am to him and i needed his special care and blabbered and i got my booking for next week
Don't ask when and all yet still i went there with my friend (which i regret) and we reached the location and i went straight inside and i saw a pile of files and i was thinking y the hell does a therapist hav so many files and that to like age old ones to which my brain litrelly forgot to read the sign that showed metally ill go up dumbass.....with such an awk smile i ran out of their office(Note: i even asked the office manager bout my appointment).....Then i went to the proper receptionist and talked bout my appointment to which she gave me the look usually people give me the invisible me....." I'm sorry sir i don't see u here " bitch am i that mad or wht to just come to a therapist without an appointment like seriously and still nice of her she told me to sit and wait so him and me sat and were seriously arguing on whos going to therparaize me is the the yellow kurthi (pretty one) or the blue chulidar ( not so pretty one ) yea to my luck i got the blue one calling me yeaahhhhh kill me rn.........
I sat down and she was so sweet giving an ugly smile and making sure ik comfortable and all that crap which was making me so uncomfortable uk like we k we r comfortable until one person comes and bugs u on how comfortable r u..she gave me my record book and asked me to fill my own record like what's my name and sex and age all that i gave out the best handwriting possible and when i hold the pen i shivered and my 3 year old cousins soul wrote the rest of the sheet she was so cool like r u nervous i said yea she asked y i replied cuz I'm thinking what ur thinking bout my thinking when I'm thinking to what to write how i write how i sit how i look and all that crap... She gave a laugh mostly cuz she k I'm that physco... I basically just let the whole shit out as ik who i am or i think i k who i am so the cue word was tell me about urself and i started my rap for 15 mins straight like she didn't hav to use any of her powers to debug me and later i found that she was opening her books and showing me that wht all i said was textbook problems of a physco yeaa Mann.... Wait did i tell u that my pen name is physco its usually martian but in kerala people don't k much bout martians all they k is physco cuz of some Instagram reel sound to which i became that so many people saved me as that in their contact list and even I am searched in college by that name....so after our discussion she literally had to kick me out as our session time as expired it seems and me who talked the whole shit and she just showing a book of wht i told came to a bill amt of 700
Yea i paid 700 to a woman who just listened to wht i said dude fir the same amount i will make myself full for like 2 days straight including desserts and snacks...
Anyways havent u thought that who's this guy and whys he balbbering so much on how crazy he is so for those who read till this much r u crazy or wht to read so much bout my blabber if u are call me we shld hav a drink together cuz damn man u can hold it long enough (that's wht she said) I'll reveal myself in my next writing cuz i basically don't do al this but my besti wrote some thing like this and she reached #1 in abuse.... U guys shld check her out ill link it down in the discription box (yep i hav 2M in YouTube) now that's I'm thinking of it I've saved this in my draft for like a year and today like exactly at 10:47pm i got the mood to write it so yea feels so much better now that my thumbs are litrelly blue cuz of typing so much I'm gonna stop and continue the part #2 of this tomm with a diff thought for the day
Tata
