Ruthless

↠ Choudah ↞

A FEW WORDS:
Raj-vedic - The royal healer
Beta - Child (said in a loving manner, usually)
---

❝She loves him more than he'll ever know,
And he loves her more than he'll ever show.
What a tragedy.❞

---

THE floor spinned beneath her feet and her breath hitched in her throat, burning and scratching the words that wanted to come out and establish their existence. Her head was a mess - a mess of tangled threads that could no longer differentiate between the bloodstained truth and white lies. She tried to comprehend the words that had left his mouth just a moment ago - "She's no more."

"I am so sorry" He whispered even though his voice was more than clear, his gaze spilling a thousand apologies to her as Shree sobbed behind them, her breaths forced and ragged. 

It didn't feel real. It couldn't. 

'No, not again. Please, not again. This is a cruel joke. Someone stop it. Please, please, please.' She pleaded to whatever deity was ready to listen, silently and helplessly chanting this prayer over and over again until it were the only words that were ingrained in her blood and bones.  

"What?" The sovereign's voice was barely a whisper as she looked back at the door where Kartik stood, looking down at the floor with so much guilt that it felt infectious, "What do you mean?"

When he didn't answer, she put her hands in a fist, the nails drawing blood from her calloused palms as she forced her voice not to break, "Look up and answer, I asked you a question." 

He continued, "She was gravely injured during the attack and we tried our very best, the raj-vedic tried his best but..."

"No" An inaudible cry left the queen's throat as she walked backwards - away from two figures - towards the edge of the bed, her feet barely supporting her crumbling figure. Her hand was on the shell of where her hollow heart might be as if she was trying to soothe the ache that was spreading like wildfire through her system.

She turned away from both of them as tears welled up in her eyes and she pushed her hand against her chest harder. 

Thump, thump, thump. Her heart beat and for a moment that was the only sensation that could remind her that she was alive and breathing, that she was not in a nightmare that could be stopped. 

'Breath in, breathe out. Don't cry. Don't cry Akira. Don't- Wait till they are gone. Don't break down, don't fall apart, don't-' She couldn't let them both see her cry. It's a sign of weakness if she cries in front of them - that's what she was always taught. 

'You cry and you are weak. Crying is a sign of weakness, beta.' Her father's voice echoed in her mind and she breathed through her mouth, dug her nails in her palms to distract herself, doing anything to hold back the waterworks. 

She could never let anyone see that the girl who was burdened with being fearless and tough at such a young age was at last just a human, right?

'You did this,' Another part of her yelled, 'She is dead because of you. You brought this upon yourself, you do not deserve anyone's pity. Letting the impostor live had it's consequences and this is part of them.'  

Shree murmured, her voice was choked up and her hand was resting on Akira's shoulder as she forced her thoughts back into this nightmarish reality, "I'm sorry Aki-"

"Get out." The queen's voice was low but dangerous. It sounded like a mad lullaby, a gateway to hell, a force to be reckoned with.

"Akira-" Shree started again; ready to offer her some sympathy, offer some apologies, offer something - anything - to her friend she believed she had failed.