The Bachelor

Chapter 15

After the cocktail party as Gulf was walking towards his room with his manager not far behind him following him closely, Gulf could feel his exhaustion in his bones.
 
People usually make this perception that being a bachelor is the most easiest and fun thing to do, you just gotta look handsome and smile but that is far from reality. It is much more difficult. It is way more tough than Gulf had perceived it to be. He literally has to be on his toes the entire time. 
 
Especially a person like Gulf, who can hardly hold conversations with so many people, everything here can be so overwhelming and out of control. He feels as if he's walking on eggshells the whole time, especially on the group dates. But the only stability and comfort he gets through all this comes in the shape of Mew. Sometimes Gulf wonders if Mew is even aware of his impact on Gulf. His one gentle smile, one tender look, a soft squeeze of his hands, his one reassuring blink towards Gulf, his one warm hug and so many little gestures hold so much power over Gulf that he finds it abstruse. It never happened to him. He has never experienced something like this ever. The surge of warmth and excessive protective instinct that bubbles up within Gulf seeing Mew is something that he has never felt before for anyone else apart from his family. It is both mind boggling and petrifying for Gulf, because he has never given someone so much power over him in his entire life but Mew seems to naturally hold the reins of emotions of Gulf without even knowing. 
 
Gulf has been in a few relationships. However, he has never had the kind of rapport and bond he shares with Mew. Everything with Mew is so easy, safe, comfortable that it feels that the best vocabulary that can simply explain what Mew feels like to him, then it will be….. Home. Mew simply feels like Home with the amount of comfort and warmth he provides. Before all this, Gulf was not even aware himself that he needs this kind of warmth but after experiencing it, Gulf is afraid that he can not let go of it ever. It is needless to say that Gulf also has his shares of reservations but everything blurs out when he is with Mew. The moment when he is with Mew, everything feels so right that it seems nothing could be more perfect than that particular moment with Mew.
 
Gulf does not vocalise it, but in the back of his mind, he is appalled and scared to the core thinking what if this whole process will be too much for Mew to handle? What if Mew decides that he can not take it anymore and quit? What if Gulf is not worth going through all the torture the show is imposing on Mew and all other contestants? Gulf is aware that coming in the show was not Mew's own decision, he was forced by his friend but what if in the middle of the show Mew reaches his limit and can not go on anymore. Even thinking about such horrific possibilities makes Gulf feel sick to his gut.
 
Gulf is not denying that Mew likes him. He is perfectly aware of the fact. Mew makes sure of that but Gulf is uncertain how much Mew can handle being in the sensory deprivation bubble the show has bound him in by setting him apart from the world with no contact to anyone. Gulf could sense how much Mew missed his life, his family, his dog, his work when he was talking about his mother that night. 
 
Gulf shook his head and closed his eyes as he sat on his bed to get rid of the jumbled up thoughts. He knew that communication is the key to any relationship and he needs to talk to Mew about his insecurities someday but he was not ready yet at least. 
 
He was brought back to the earth by his manager, who said, "Gulf? Is there something wrong?"
 
Gulf was still a bit in daze so he just shook his head in confusion.
 
"Are you thinking about the guys?", his manager tried again.
 
Gulf shook his head again, this time a bit more in his own control.
 
"Are you alright? Do you need anything?", P'Best asked yet again.
 
"No Krub. You can go rest now.", Gulf answered, looking straight at him.
 
P'Best still looked unconvinced but he nodded anyways, "Alright! Have a shower and sleep early tonight please. You have an early meeting with the producers."
 
Gulf who was looking down at his feet looked up immediately in confusion, "What meeting?"
 
His manager shook his head, "I did tell you before in the morning today. They want to discuss the further proceedings of the show. I've got some air that they are going to try to pursue you about a few things which you have not been doing in the show."
 
Gulf asked in confusion, "What things Krub?"
 
His manager seemed to know but he didn't want say it aloud probably, "Let's see tomorrow, but just don't listen to everything they say. I believe you are well aware of what is included in your contract and what not. And I will also be there so it will not be an issue I suppose. However,....." P'Best took a pause and he seemed hesitant to continue.
 
Gulf raised his brows in question, "However what Krub?"
 
P'Best sighed as he said with reluctance, "However it can be an issue if they find you breaking any rule stated in your contract."
 
Gulf was speechless for a moment but he recovered quickly, "What are you implying Krub?"
 
His manager shrugged, "I never saw or heard anyone in the outhouse late at night 2 weeks back."
 
Gulf shook his head, "P'Best!!!! Do they know? Will it put any damage to the person who was there?"
 
P'Best nodded his head in negative and smiled a little, "The fact that you are not even denying anymore. And no, I don't think they know but I'd strongly suggest you to not do it a lot. You do know that they can sue you for the breach of contract.. right? And that person can be sent home straight away if they found out somehow."
 
Gulf shook his head vigorously, "Noo! They won't!!"
 
P'Best smiled, "They have all the rights to do it. But you can drop that frown for now. I'm very sure they don't know yet. So I'd say you did a good job being sneaky. I also found out just because I heard the voice when he was leaving in the morning but I also don't know who he was because I didn't see."
 
Gulf deflated, "So you don't know who he is?"
 
This time P'Best smiled playfully and shrugged, "Well, I didn't see him, but considering I know you since you were 16, I can guess who that person was. Honestly anyone can guess seeing how you're the most talkative and comfortable with him only."
 
Gulf nodded because frankly whatever he was saying was absolute truth.
 
Gulf asked in a small voice, "Are you mad that I broke the rule and didn't even tell you?"
 
P'Best sat on the couch right in front of him and leveled his eyes with Gulf, "Luk (Son), I know you are very smart and mature. I don't think you would do something impulsively without thinking. If you did it then it must have meant so much to you and you are not a child so of course I'm not mad and I don't even have any right to be. However, I would appreciate it if I know it beforehand so that if by chance any situation arises in the future, I'd be able to handle it for you. You're getting me...right?"
 
Gulf nodded meekly, "Krub."
 
P'Best continued on, "Although the producers are not aware of your sneaking endeavours, however they are perfectly observing where your interests are tilted and I'm certain that they're going to bring this matter up tomorrow in the meeting as well."
 
Gulf had a serious face, "What do you mean? Isn't it added in the contract that the choice will be solely mine? Then why would they intervene in that?"
 
"They will not like it if you will already have a favourite this early on. It will all be too boring for the show if the results are already clear in the third week itself." , P'Best tried to explain.
 
"I think I'm capable of standing on my point in this because according to the contract I'm not doing anything wrong, but I am not dumb. I understand how all this works. What do you suggest I do if they bring this up?" , Gulf asked in a business like tone.
 
"I think it's best if you act nonchalant. You can just deny any favourites or biasness. However, try to keep it on a down low at least for a week.", His manager said as an afterthought.
 
Gulf groaned and fell back on the bed, "Can this be over already? This is way too tough P'Best."
 
P'Best got up from the couch and moved in his room to take his nightwear out. He handed it to him as he said, "I can see that but think from the contestants' point of view too. It is difficult for them as well. They are trying their best so you also have to do your best as you always do for every job."
 
Gulf groaned once again, "That's the problem! It's not a job anymore!"
 
P'Best chuckled, "As much as I know you, I never imagined you'll like someone this much this early."
 
Gulf hit up from his bed and took his nightmare, "Ughhhh, I'm going to take a shower. See you tomorrow Krub."
 
Before Gulf could enter the washroom, his manager said something that halted his steps, "By the way, I approve of him."
 
Gulf looked down, "You're going too far ahead Krub. It is not like I've decided or something."
 
P'Best giggled softly, "Of course! I am silly. I'll leave you alone now. Please do not be sneaky tonight. Good night. Sleep well." Saying that P'Best walked out of his room and Gulf moved to lock the door.
 
He went to shower and he can already imagine how manipulative the producers are going to be tomorrow. 
 
For a change, he really listened to his manager and lied down on his bed to sleep right after shower and soon exhaustion took over because he slipped off in sleep very soon.