Fifty Shades of Jake Hiss

Prologue

It was a steamy hot day in July and my totally not hot boyfriend William Moobach had just broke up with me. I was totally not shipping the breakup at was like totally not happy. So to drown my sorrows I did what any normal white girl would do. Go to Starbucks in my super comfy leggings and uggs and get me some of that purple Starbucks drank. While I was waiting for my Grande purple drank at Starbucks I saw this totally hot bae. His hair... His vines... His face... I was like, oh my god so good! I was totally shipping it. To my great amazement, he said smiled at me and said, " The name's Hiss (dramatic pause) Jake Hiss." I was gazing wistfully into his beautiful brown eyes until suddenly the Starbucks lady said, "Gretta your purple drank is ready." Ugh the nerve! I was totally totally shipping that hot moment between me and the one and only Jake Hiss until the stupid Starbucks lady interrupted us! I was so embarrassed and quickly left. I was drinking the purple drank and I couldn't stop thinking of that hot Jake bae. But I knew it simply wasn't to be and we would probably never see each other again. So I went home and had a not so hot summer from that point on. And I spent the entire summer thinking of the totally hot Jake bae and how I totally should've stayed with him at Starbucks.