empty snow, pure white melodies.

to you, who i love.

※ real world(?) au.

***

"hurry."

it was one odd day where mafuyu looked even more impatient as she was leading miku somewhere under today's clear sky, while miku was trying to match her steps so she won't be left behind.

it was one of these days of mafuyu barganing at miku--- at least what she did ---so she can take her on a date. many rejections later mafuyu finally showed a frown of sadness and disappointment, but miku was quick to notice her. burdened by guilt for ignoring mafuyu's needs, she soon agreed to come.

mafuyu is no experts at date, but she just wanted to take her somewhere she loves to visit back in the day--- an aquarium. she wanted to impress miku with plenty of fishes around also trying to feel the nostalgic trip by visiting one.

she prayed she won't mess up, since mafuyu felt like she had pushed miku too much to the point of guilty.

the lovers finally set their feet into the aquarium and miku looked around in awe. when she was about to venture around mafuyu stopped her by holding her by the arm.

"don't."

said mafuyu, moving her hand slightly lower and linking their hands, fingers intertwined.

"don't leave me, miku."

her voice sounded sad, she really wanted to stay with her everywhere she goes and miku apologized for her rashness.

"i'm sorry."

"...let's take a look around."

they briefly stopped, tanks every tanks. seeing how the fishes varies from beautiful to the huge ones until they took a long walk in a "sea tunnel", brimming with the scenery under the ocean's surface. mafuyu even stopped to look around the fish swimming, surrounding them. she used to think the sea's shade of blue is stunning, but why now she is feeling all serene and blue? even with her beloved miku with her?

"...i'm sorry for making you come along, miku."

"no, it should be me apologizing since i tend to turn away mafuyu's request..."

all mafuyu wanted is for them to love each other, nothing of skinships or even further involved--- mafuyu might envied life a little towards couples around her, especially a pair of certain illustrator and animator. she wanted to be like them, to properly feel love.

she felt beyond dissatisfied on both her relationship and herself. she knew things were better before mafuyu finally came to the term of love. falling for miku wasn't wrong at all, but she felt the growing distance once she has been trying to seek for her affection everyday.

mafuyu gritted her teeth.

she hated this feeling of dependence, yet she wanted to feel the warmth miku once had, but even so miku stayed dense and hardly notice her own mistake for sometimes abandoning mafuyu's needs of affection.

"i want to talk to you, hear your voice, always be on your side like what you promised me."

she muttered. does she even listen? miku was too absorbed in her own world, they are also distances apart for a while now.

"i don't have much time in this world. i wanted to see you and feel you with me always, miku."

she seemed to hear her, with mafuyu keeping a sad glance at her which was soon averted back into the tank.

"...it's cold and empty, this tank. there was nothing there, like the sekai and my heart. then i get to meet you, then i..."

mafuyu paused her "monologue", without realizing miku has been listening. tears began to well in mafuyu's eyes. her reflection was faint, but soon she can feel her cheeks wet from her tears. her chest felt in pain, as if she almost forgot how to breath, and---

"mafuyu,"

the gentle, familiar voice called, holding mafuyu's hand. she finally snapped and rubbed her tears, trying to look into miku's eyes.

"...i'm sorry if i hurt you."

her tears was evident, mafuyu wished she couldn't show her emotional dependence but she wanted miku to find out her lovesickness, though crying is not the thing she had in mind...

"you're not hurting me, i was too selfish---"

"you don't need to tell me, mafuyu. i was hesitant.. if i accepted your request, would you forgive me for being the one who's being selfish?"

mafuyu felt into a deep silent. she noticed everytime she gets to hold miku, she tightly holds her as if she never wanted to let go, clinging close to her one true love.

"i wanted to know more about mafuyu, i'm glad to be here with you. however, i might upset you now.. but i'm sorry for being a bad---"

"no, you don't have to apologize. i am too, was envious of people who gets to receive attention. my chest.. tightens.. knowing i asked too much, yet felt too little when you gave me plenty."

she was wavering, mafuyu sighed deeply and gulped her own saliva. she really wanted to collapse in miku's arms and cried--- even if her selfish wish has to be granted, is to forever feel the "genuine" love of miku, even if it were fake.

feeling the resonance of doubt from mafuyu, miku wanted to make herself better not only for the sake of mafuyu but for the sake of both of them.

"then let's try to be better, mafuyu. i.. promise to listen into your heart's desire. i wanted to be a good listener, and not only a greedy girl..."

she wanted to stay close to her resolve, holding close her oath to her heart to help mafuyu and always care for her. they felt like a failure but if they don't try to fix things they will succumb even more into the pit of loneliness.

"miku.. i'll try not to be more selfish for you, if that is what you want."

"no, please. please rely on me more. this time, i will listen. i will surely listen."

miku finally reached for her cheek and mafuyu looked to her when she felt miku's touch, the next thing they both know that they shared a kiss under the shade of the sea blue tunnel--- a kiss of regret, apology, and forgiveness.

a kiss to mend both of their aching hearts, wanted to restore thing back like it was before.