Charlotte Drinkwell

13

I get to juliet's as she managed to move back in for a little while.
"If this is about sid then don't" she starts. "I thought peri would think i was cool and notice me but she hates this and wont speak to me because i am stuck and no matter how much james tries to get me out i am stuck and you still have good things to focus on.."
"Not all of it is about sid" i snapped. "Can i not do this for myself can i not do it so i can make victor see i am doing it but i want to help my family too and not have to make deliveries"
"Lottie! Would you rather drag innocent children into this ruin there lives! Look at ella, charlie they hate it really even jordan" she says. "You can't serious want what i had it will hurt you and well your mental health you don't need that stress".
"What do you know" i shrugged. "Those kids are in this theres nothing we can do and if i do want it maybe i could do better and maybe help me become a stronger person and and.."
"And what live with the more children that could join be blackmailed and trapped, what is going on with you, i have to talk to sid.. this isn't you lottie" she looks at me. "But fine i can't stop you i just hope you know what your doing"
I stand up and look at her. I do i know what i am doing. I know she's right. Doing this could make things only worse and what would sid think would he hate me? He was lucky to be free. But why would he care he only sees me as a friend anyway. I think i know what to do.
"I will see you later juliet" i said.
"If you choose to do this i hope you will learn like i did and say i was right" she turns away from me and i walk out and victor answered.
I need you here now i have made my decision.

I get there quick enough and look at him.
"Well?" I question.
"By that you seem eager to know what i have to say. If you want to you can just i want your trust given first so i can make sure i won't lose you like juliet" he smiles. "We will start that tomorrow so this is a yes?"
No going back no changing my mind. Do i really want to do this. I think of what juliet said. She wasn't strong enough you can be though.
But am i so heartless to do this? Juliet is only thinking about me making sure i don't do the wrong thing.
"Yes i will do it" i nodded without realising what i said.
"Well then i will see you tomorrow" he walks off. "And don't fail me i am counting on you to be better than they others"
"I have no reason to be worse" i smiled.
I stop to see jordan.
"And look who it is" he laughs. "You were just avoiding me a few days ago what makes you want to be around me now".
"Maybe your not as bad as i thought" i look at him. "Anyway its not like anyone will care".
"Not even sid" he raises his eyebrows.
"Don't" i sigh. "He probably won't even want to know me i will have to get over him".
"You always have me" he says and i laugh.
"Yeah right you have the lomaxes" i tease.
"But i want you they dont want anything to do with me" he says.
I kiss him and he kisses me back and i look at him.
"We really doing this" i mumble.
"Yes" he said and i pull him along and take him back to the flat. Looks like working with jordan will be a lot of fun.

The next day i wake up to get ready for sixth form and remember jordan there.
"So this going to be a more often thing because i really wouldn't mind that" he said.
"Well since we will be close together yes" i smiled. "Anyway you make it very interesting what can i say"
"Then i am going to enjoy this" he smirks.
"Don't think about making me go back to bed or i will be late" i tell him. Anyway make yourself at home i supose its better than having nothing flats mostly empty so.."
"Fine see you later partner" he laughs and i kiss him and go down stairs.
"New fella?" Scott say.
"Oh hey! Sort of" i shrug.
"Well he wants to be careful i will be keeping a eye on him" he said.
"You going to see di today?" I asked.
He nods.
"Let me know how she is" i said. "Anyway busy day i better go".
"Don't let me stop you have a good day!" He smiled and i go out the door.
All my decisions have been unlike me. If only scott knew who jordan really is, or who i really am. Why is this wave of anxiety hitting me now when i have no reason to have it.
I go to sixth form for the first half of the day and leave half way through. The feeling didn't leave me all day and i wasn't up to my lessons today. And out of sid juliet and me you would think i would be the sensible one. Parts of me was wondering what i was doing and why let myself go further and was i not thinking right. And this time out was what i needed. The christmas holidays was starting in a couple of days and i wouldn't have to worry anymore.
I send jordan a message: Hey any thing needed delivering or anything else i have a free afternoon x
My phone buzzed hopeful it was Jordan but it was sid.
I opened the message and read it
We need to talk.