Let's Give Albus B***dy Dumbledore a Heart Attack (or) The Fake Heir

1

"What do you mean, I'm famous?" Harry frowned.

Griphook smiled thinly. "The Dark Lord Voldemort killed your parents and attempted to kill you, but failed. The entire world knows this."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "No way. I refuse. Fame -- ugh. Is there a way to change my appearance and name?"

The goblin raised a brow. "Yes. You will have to choose a last name of someone who could have an heir."

"Fine then, as long as my first name is Hadrian. It's similar to Harry, I'll be able to get used to it easier," Harry said.

"That's doable," Griphook smirked. He handed Harry a list of last names.

"Riddle?" Harry said with surprise. "That's... a fairly normal name."

"Would you like that one?" Griphook stifled laughter. Oh, Dumbledore was going to have a heart attack.

Harry shrugged. "It's acceptable. So how do I change my appearance?"

"First, we have to decide what you look like," Griphook scolded. "This is what Tom Marvolo Riddle, your fake father, looks like." He showed Harry a photo of the man in his sixth year.

"Huh. He's hot," Harry said with a grin. "That's totally fine. I won't look exactly like him, right? Nobody looks exactly like one parent."

Griphook grinned. "They do not. I suggest changing your hair to a dark red." Dumbledore would think Lily had a child with Voldemort. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

"What are you smirking about?" Harry asked dryly.

"I would like you to, when you return, show me a memory of the headmaster's reaction to your name and appearance," said Griphook vaguely, eyes dancing.

"Did he know Riddle?" Harry said, sniggering.

"Oh, yes, and they hated each other. Still do," Griphook mused.

"Changing my name and messing with someone," Harry cackled. "Let's do this."

"Oh, do you know what would be even funnier?" Griphook asked. "Let's make your eyes black, then Dumbledore will assume Riddle, your mother, and his potions master were in a tryst."

Harry burst out laughing.

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Blood Test for Hadrian Alaric Riddle:

Name: Hadrian Alaric Riddle

Real Name: Harry James Potter

Mother: Lily Potter Née Evans (deceased)

Father(s): James Potter (biological; deceased), Tom Marvolo Riddle (barely living), Severus Tobias Riddle-Prince (living)

Godparent(s): Sirius Orion Black (living, compromised); Andromeda Tonks Née Black (living)

Titles: Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen One

Lord to:

Potter

Gryffindor (through Potter)

Merlin (through Potter)

Hufflepuff (through Evans)

Heir to:

Peverell (conquest; through Gaunt)

Slytherin (conquest; through Gaunt)

Gaunt (conquest)

Black (through godfather)

Prince (conquest)