I could hear
I could hear my friends when they talked.
I could hear my mother when she said she loved me.
I could hear my dog when he was happily barking.
I could hear my favourite music.
I could hear words.
But that was taken away from me.
Like I said, I could.
-Introduction-
It's been 9 years since I stopped being able to hear. I could still talk, I was told I had a deeper from the one I remember. I still sing, only when I'm alone though. I never believed I was a good singer. I still laugh, although it's rare. I normally communicate with sign language, talking has become hard for me, I slur my words. Only my close friends and family have ever heard me talk since I lost my ability.
I was never good at learning languages, but with sign language it's so much easier. I don't have to learn a complete new way of speaking. Most countries use some sort of BSL (British sign language) just throwing in some changes here and there. My friends and family even made the effort to learn sign language. I really don't deserve them. I think my best friends shed more tears than I did when I went deaf. It took a while but we're back to gossiping about the other people in our life, just like it was.
I hated having to learn SL when I was 14, I liked my life. Just because I was unfortunate enough to lose my hearing doesn't mean I was happy about it, I'm normally a calm person. A 'take it in stride' person as my mum would say, and I took the news really well, but what made it hard for me was the fact that I had to change my comfortable life around to fit in this new disability. I hated it, often locking myself in my room, more than normal. I would talk to my friends on online games, or make new friends online. Ones who didn't know my disability.
Sympathy. That's what I hated. It made me feel weak, made me feel like a child.
After getting sympathy from the people around me during the few months not being able to communicate confidently, I put my head down and learned BSL fluently. I went back to school the next year being able to communicate with the translator confidently, asking the teacher more questions, or answering questions the teachers would ask. Some teachers even went out of there way to learn the basics of sign language so they could teach my properly. Those were the teachers I would miss.
I'm so lucky my job doesn't require speaking. I work as animator, mostly cartoons, for Disney; animations studios. It wasn't easy getting this job though. My first job interview, fresh out of university, was at Pixar Studios. Obviously I didn't get the job. They said, and I quote, "your perfect! But unfortunately we can't hire you, your hearing disability will slow down the production of our team. And we're on a tight schedule as it is. I'm sorry but we'll have to decline your application."
That's when it really hit me. My disability was slowing me down, is it slowing down everyone around me...? My mum, my brother, my friends? I was being something I'm not. I was pretending I could hear, when I can't. I vowed from that day on I would be independent. I worked my ass off for my current job and worked even harder to get the position I'm in; assistant manager of the animation team. And it really paid off, I was given a special thanks at the premier of the Lion king 2; live action, for speeding up the production of the movie, which was, supposedly, due to come out another 5 months later.
But luck doesn't come on it's own, it's apart of a package. Luck wasn't on my side when I went into the office of my boss that day. No, I didn't lose my job. I was moved to a different office. But this office wasn't a couple cities over. It was a couple countries over, Korea to be exact. I was distraught, my family is here, my friends, my life. But my job is my life. So I packed my things, one by one. Said goodbye to my friends, one by one. The tears rolled down my cheeks as I held my mothers short, petite, build in a bear hug, one by one. And for the first time in years, I hugged my brother, him hugging me back. I grabbed my carry-on bags, as I waved to my family, my friends, my home. 'I'll be back,' I signed 'I promise.'
