Live My Life-Part 5
Justin's POV:
After school I went straight home I couldn't be bothered with the people following me and as the day went on I paid less and less attention. I couldn't stop thinking of Selena. The way that I had made her cry. It hurt knowing that I'd hurt someone who was already so broken.When I got home aunt Cathy asked how my day was "alright" I replied and walked up the stairs.
I went to my room and closed the door throwing my bag in the corner.
I pulled my iPod out and put my head phones in. The first song that came on was fix you by cold play which made me think of Selena so I changed it the next song came on was breathe by Taylor Swift and yet again it reminded me of Selena.
I took my head phones out and threw my iPod at the wall just analyzing what had happened to day. What she had said was so true.My songs used to have meaning. They used to have soul but ever since ive been drinking and drowning my emotions my songs have lost both that meaning and soul. "how did you get here Justin?"
I said out loud to myself. "how could you dothat to everyone? You are such a jerk!" I said on anger. My head dropped into my hands and I began to cry. I couldn't remember the last time I'd cried but it felt good to let everything out.I slowly drifted off to sleep thinking about how I could make it up to Selena
-- The Next Day --
I woke up at 7 o'clock to get ready for school. I was planning on apologizing to Selena today but I couldn't think of the best way how. I know that she probably wouldn't give me a chance but I was determined to prove her wrong.After I ha a shower I went downstairs to get some breakfast.
Aunt Cathy was sitting at the table eating her breakfast so I walked up to her and gave he a hug "I'm sorry I've been acting like a brat, I really don't know how I got so off track" she smiled and hugged me back."Finally" she sighed. I let go of her and went to grab a bowl and some cereal.
"Hey, aunty?" I asked slowly."yeah?"
"do you know Selena Gomez?" "yes." she said swallowing "she's a lovely girl but she has been through slot lately. Why do you ask?"I paused thinking of how to say it "I made a mistake yesterday that I need to fix"She looked at me trying to see what I meant. "what mistake exactly ""well....she was showing me to my next class and was being really hostile towards me so I asked her what her problem was. Her reply is what made me realize what I am and who I've become.
At the time I didn't realize it was true and said some stuff to her that I didn't mean." I said looking down embarrassed with myself."what sort of things?" she eyed me skeptically."I said that I know her type. She likes to push people away because she's scared to get hurt and I told her that she is one of those people who thinks that they're too good for everyone else and then she started crying and ran off"
She gasped as I finished "do you know why she is like that?"
"not until after. Not until Demi told me, that her brother died and she went through depression and lost all her friends because she pushed everyone away" oh lord Justin how could you be such an idiot?I looked at my aunty And asked "how do I fix this?"
"I don't know Justin, but she deserves so much better than that. She is a lovely girl and has gone through so much. I'm glad to have my Justin back though. You'll figure something out Hun"she said getting up and patting my back.
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I had science first period and I had decided to apologize to Selena. Whether she accepted it or not I just wanted to apologize to her. I had been a complete idiot and it hurt me to see her hurt.I walked into clas just as the bell rang and took a seat next to where Selena sat yesterday.
Today it was empty. I waited all period to see if she would come but she didn't. History was the same. No show. Demi sat next to me again.I liked Demi, she treated me how she'd treat anyone else and it was nice. We sat in silence the whole lesson until the bell rang. She got up to walk off but I stopped her.
"hey Demi, do you know where Selena lives? I really need to apologize to her about yesterday. I was a complete jerk."
She looked at me stunned
"Of course I know where she lives, here" she said writing what I assumed was selena's address.
She handed It to me and said "Good luck. You'll need it. She probably won't give you the time of day but it's worth a try."
I sighed knowing what the out come was probably going to be but I'd feel even worse knowing I didn't do anything about it.I walked to my car and started driving the foreign streets to the address demi gave me. I got half way there and I was getting really nervous. I had been thinking all night and day on how I could apologize but I came up with nothing.I walked up to her door instantly regretting the fact that I had gone to her house. She'd think I was some stalker or something.
"Come on Justin don't be a jerk" my hand made it's way to the door and knocked.
I waited for a minute when the door opened revealing Selena with sweats and a singlet. Her hair hung around he face perfectly and she wasn't wearing makeup which made her even more beautiful.As she opened the door I saw.
Her face turn to one of disgust. She was about to close the door in my face before I quickly stammered out "Wait, Selena please wait I came to apologize"
I said feeling so helpless.She stood there looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to talk.
Shit what do I say?
I fumbled around in my head for something to say but I couldn't think of anything. I stood there just looking at her as her face fell as she said "that's what I thought" a tear came down her face.
You've made her cry twice in the space of 24 hours good on you Justin, just say something.
"Selena, I'm really sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I don't know anything about you so I shouldn't have said anything. Everything you said was true and it was then that I realized everything I'd done. I'd pushed my friends and family away. I turned to alcohol and partying.
I lost fans and-and I know I can't change all that stuff but I can change."
I was speaking a mile a minute but to me it made sense. It felt good to get everything out and it felt good that I was telling Selena. She stood there just looking in my eyes.
Did she see how desperately I wanted her to see that I can change? Did she see that I meant ever last word of what I'd just said? An did she realize that she is the reason I want to change.
To become a better person? I'd only met her yesterday and just knowing what she's gone through in the last ear makes me truly appreciate what I have..
Sorry this part sucks balls :( next part will be better I promise.
