Live My Life-Part 6
Selena's POV:
"I know I can't change all that stuff but I can change." I stood there starring at him in disbelief. No one had ever made this much effort for me. To apologize and make things right. I was speechless. "Please say something Selena" he whispered after a minute or two. I didn't know what to say.
All I wanted to do was jump into his arms and have someone to protect me but I couldn't. I couldn't put myself out there to get hurt again. I can't go through that again so I did what I'd learnt to do lately, push people away.
"thank you for apologizing but I think it'd be best if you left." I said looking down trying to hold the tears from streaming down my face. "Sel, please give me a chance? So I can show you that I can change?" he asked hopeful. That broke my heart. Josh was the only person who ever called me Sel and I'd missed it so much.
"it's not that easy Justin. You hurt me and i cant forget that easily. Goodbye."
and I closed the door in his face. He looked so hurt and that I didn't understand.
He was a famous pop star who had everything but that face described exactly how I felt. Broken. That could have been my one chance to be happy and I pushed him away. I felt so disgusted in myself.
I didn't deserve him. He was a jerk but I was worse. I ran to my bedroom and locked the door. Even though no one was home I didn't want anyone to see me. I hated myself. I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I let them fall down my face and I needed to do something to stop the pain. I walked to the bathroom and picked up the razor. "that should have been you, not Josh" I said as I brought the razor to my skin.
"your worthless" I said cutting again. "no one will ever love you." I dropped the razor and curled into a ball just crying and letting the blood run down my arm. When I had nothing left in me I got up and washed my wrists.
The water hurt a bit at first but atleast it made me feel real. I walked into my room pulling a over sized hoodie over my head so that I could hide my wrists. Just as I pulled it over my head I heard a knock at my door. "selly?"
I heard Scarlett ask. "yeah princess" I said walking to the door wiping my tear stained cheeks. I opened the door and saw her standing there with a picture. "I drew this at school."
she said handing me a picture. I gazed down at what she had drawn and it was a picture of Scarlett and I at the beech, walking hand in hand. At the bottom it read 'to seena, I love you. Love from Scarlett" with a small smiley face at the end. "I love you too baby girl."
no matter how much I hated myself I loved this girl with everything in me. I couldn't bare to have her go through what I had to and if it's up to me she never will. Feedback? I hope you liked it :) not my best but you know :) oh and the next part will be longer
