[Blitzø x Reader] Dirty Thief Who Stole My Heart ❤️

(3)Rival Company?

"Hey Y/n, I was wondering," Millie spoke up. Both of you were currently relaxing while you waited for another client. "Do you have anyone that you want dead?"

"What? No, not really," you looked down. "I personally believe in forgiving and forgetting. I'm not one to hold a grudge... But, now that I know that hell is real, death doesn't seem as unknown and scary. Is heaven real too?" You asked, taking a sip of a mug full of hot chocolate and marshmallows (or any drink you like). Millie nodded.

"We actually had a rival company from there. They basically did the opposite of what we do... They helped people. Without a fee, too. I mean, who does that?"

"Hm... Well, I would. I mean, maybe. But, honestly, I'd much rather work here. Killing doesn't seem that bad anymore now that I know heaven and hell exist... But I'll probably still feel bad."

"Well, I'd say you could be a receptionist, but Loona already has that job."

"You mean the 'Loonie' person that Blitzø called on the phone before we came to hell?" you tilt your head just a bit. Millie nods, taking a drink out of her own mug.

"I don't think you met her yet, but I can-" before Millie could say more, Moxxie and Blitzø walk in.

"Y/n! There you are!" Blitzø smiled warmly at you. A wolf girl walked in behind him. "I want you to meet my daughter, Loona!"

"I'm only his daughter on papers," she muttered, sitting down in a chair across from you. She didn't even bother to look up from her phone.

"Oh. Nice to meet you, Loona! As you know, I'm Y/n... Wow, I've never seen anything like you before," you paused. She looked up with a brow raised, and then she seemed to choke on air.

"You're human?!" She barked, sitting up a little straighter. "Blitzø, you seriously aren't thinking of keeping that thing are you?"

"Oh, when did you start giving a fuck, Loona," Moxxie asked.

"I didn't. I just don't want to deal with his shitty crying when they die down here. This place isn't safe for humans," Loona rolled her eyes, pointing a thumb at Blitzø. Blitzø's eyes widened into a puppy-dog smile.

"You care!" he cooed, putting his hands together to make the classic pose people make in movies while saying 'awww~!'.

"Fuck you," Loona huffed and looked back down at her phone. "Just don't say I didn't warn you. This thing doesn't look like it's hurt a fly, so it'll probably end up in heaven when it dies." As soon as she said this, Blitzø looked a little panicked.

"You're right, Loonie!" he yelled, running over to you. "Y/n, you need to kill someone."

_____

"I don't know if I can do this," you whispered, about to press a button to set fire to a house. Blitzø knew you didn't want to hurt anyone, so he chose the house of a pedophile who also deals drugs to make it easier for you.

"Remember what I told you, Y/n? This guy has raped a five year old just yesterday. What happened to the five year old? It died," Blitzø reminded you. "Doesn't it make you angry?"

"Yes... A little," you admitted.

"All you have to do is press the button..."

"Blitzø!" Someone yelled. You flinched and dropped the button to the bomb. "There you are!"

(Gasp?!! Cherub?! Impossible!!)

"What... Oh...my... You are so cute!" You gasped. You stood up, ignoring the pain, and grabbed the blue one by the cheeks. He blushed madly.

"Uh-uhmmm...." he stuttered, wondering how to react. You heard Blitzø scoff.

"What are you fuck ups doing here?" Blitzø asked.

"To get revenge!" Screamed a...baby thing.

"I thought you were all helpful and lovey dovey, Cervit."

"M-my name is Cletus you tomato soup ass imp!" 'Cletus' yelled. "A-and thanks to your stunt, we got kicked out of heaven-"

"Awww, you're cute too," you purred, pinching his cheek. You said you'd never be like the grandparents in the movies... But here you were. "Is the whittle baby gwounded from heavennn..?" You asked, squishing his cheeks with both hands now.

"Hands o-off!" Cletus whined, trying to move your hands away. You heard Blitzø snicker behind you. "And I am not grounded! I was banned all because of his stupid company!" Cletus pointed an accusing finger at Blitzø. Your eyes drifted over to him with a cocky smile.

"Listen, it happened. There's not really much you can do to change the past," you told them, placing your hands on your hips.

"I-I think she's right-" the blue one spoke up, but the yellow one smacked him upside the head.

"Don't listen to that demon, Collin," she hissed. Collin rubbed the spot she hit sheepishly. (Ayyy, also you're still wearing the horns so they're just assuming that you're a demon.)

"Aren't you basically demons now that you were kicked out of heaven...?" You asked, glaring at the yellow one a bit.

"Yeah, right. I'm nothing even close to those lowlifes. Demons are all the same," she looked away and crossed her arms. It was pretty much the classic tsundere pose.

"Did.. you just stereotype the entire population of hell...? How was it Blitzø's fault that you were banned from heaven, anyway?" You quickly said, not wanting an answer to the first question that much.

"We got blamed for the death of a human! We would never do that on purpose!"

"They didn't let you explain yourself?" The yellow one went silent.

"No.., they didn't, did they, Keenie?" Collin thought out loud, looking at the yellow one...or, 'Keenie'. She shook her head.

"Those...those... Bastards!" Keenie puffed out, an angry blush spreading on her face. "I didn't even think of that. We were banned because of an accident."

"Whoa, Y/n, you made them forget about me," Blitzø chimed in. Everyone turned to him. You playfully rolled your eyes at him with a soft smile.

"Listen, Hell probably isn't as bad as you think. I know you guys might think that demons are all heartless pricks, but... Some of them really do have some heart. Instead of viewing them as monsters, you should view them as people. No one is better, and no one is worse. Those people who banned you from heaven? They don't care about you. All they care about is making sure that they'll never end up allowing 'lowlife' murderers inside their gated community... no matter how reformed they are.Why don't you come with us? You'll see. Hell isn't so bad," you placed your hand out in front of them. Your attention was pulled away when you heard Blitzø cough.

"When did I agree to this..?" He questioned you, crossing his arms.

"Come on, Blitzø. They deserve to know." Blitzø groaned.

"Ooookkkkaayyy. Just follow my lead dip-shits, we're going to hell."

(I'm sorry)