Josh's mention of wanting to try cockwarming doesn't escape her mind. No way. She's way too excited about it to forget.
Still, she wants to make sure to bring it up in the right time. This isn't about sex, it's not meant to be exactly. Yeah, maybe it often ends up with sex but it doesn't start off with sex. It's not something Jaden and her do often, just once in a while when either of them feels down or disconnected, when they need each other close, really close. It started one day when Jaden told her he felt like she was slipping through his fingers, it started off as a way for her to tell him she was still there, she was still his and that she still loved him no matter what his head was telling him.
She wants it to be something like that for Josh too even if she knows that they'll undoubtedly end up having sex after.
It takes a few weeks before she finds the opportunity to bring it up.
She puts her bag next to the door finally happy to be home after her long and exhausting day at school. She can hear the faint sound of the tv playing in the living room and she assumes it's Josh playing video games since Jaden texted her to say he would be staying at the studio one more hour.
She follows the sound, making her way to her boyfriend silently. Josh barely looks at her as she leans against the doorframe. She isn't sure if he didn't see her or if he's purposefully ignoring her.
Something doesn't seem right, doesn't feel right. He isn't wearing his headphone like he usually does, talking to his friends from Canada or the other sway boys. No, this time he's just sitting alone focusing on the game, slight pout drawn on his lips.
Something's wrong, she knows it.
"Hey." She says softly, moving to sit right next to him.
"Hey." He breathes out, not once taking his eyes off the game in front of him. Yep, something's definitely wrong. She slides her hand against his leg rubbing circles with her thumb and trying to coax him into pausing his game and focusing on her.
He does a few seconds later, putting the controller on the couch next to him and finally turning to look at her. "What's going on?" She asks carefully, trying to not scare him knowing that if he does she won't see him for the rest of the day, and he'll come back wrecked in the morning. It happened once and she's not ready to live it again.
"I don't know." He shrugs, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to pull her into a hug. She hugs him back lovingly, pressing a kiss under his jaw. "It's been a hard day mentally." The three of them live those once in a while. Well, she lives them pretty often and Jaden's not far behind but they're rarer coming from Josh.
"Where's your head at?" Josh sighs heavily, pulling her to lie on top of him as he lays down on his back. He hesitates a little, words scrolling through his head, trying to find a way to speak about it without offending her.
"I...I just... Sometimes I get those days it's just so easy for me to feel insecure. To feel like you and Jaden love each other more than you love me or that maybe both of you'll get tired of me and leave after... After you're done like... experimenting." He doesn't even dare looking at her because saying it out loud feels even dumber than thinking about it even though it's really how he feels.
Really why would both of them want him when they have each other, when he's not even half as good or interesting as either of them. She's not angry, no it's not anger rising inside of her. It's more something like sadness and worry. "Hey." She takes his chin between her finger to push him to look at her. "It's ok to feel like this, you know you can talk to me. You don't have to close on yourself because you think we'll be mad at you for feeling a certain way."
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I've seen you (JadenxReaderxJosh)
FanfictionJaden's been supportive, just as much as Josh has been. Josh Richards, their roommate and Jaden's best friend. She doesn't know what she would do without both of them. And maybe that's the problem. She wouldn't trade her life for anything in the wor...
