An Unwilling Bond

Chapter Four

Eliana POV:

I never want to leave my room again. I sent Anna away to have time for myself now. I stare at the ceiling, studying the different patterns of it. I can't live my whole life with Mattheo by my side. I want to find the love of my life and marry them, not some arrognat and slefish prince. And I'm only 20 years old. I'm not ready to settle down yet, I haven't even really lived.

"Excuse me, can I come in?", Anna asks me from outside the door, but I don't answer. "Eliana, you have to be ready to attend dinner in half an hour."

Dinner?! With the guy I'm forced to marry, the king I screamed at and my parents that hate me now? No thanks, but do I have a choice? No.

So I tell Anna to enter the room. She opens the door carefully, stepping inside as if she wasn't allowed to move too quickly. I make my way towards her and hug her, thightly. She hugs me back, I feel her soft hands petting and stroking my back.

"Do you want to talk about it", she asks, her voice sounding really concerned. "No, not right now, thank you. I should get ready for dinner.."., I reply.

Half an hour later I enter the dinning hall, everybody is already seated and looking at me. I was so ashamed, I wish I could sink right into the floor. Mattheo seems to detect my embarrassment and starts to smile a little. What a bastard, enoying me feeling uncomfortable, I think.

I apologize for my behavior, even though I don't mean it, but I know how dissapointed my paretns must be right now, and maybe the king will forgive me. At least I hope so.

"We are going to talk about it later. Now let's eat.", mother says to me. Alexander's toring his furious gaze from my mother at me, if looks could kill, I would be dead like by now.

I eat my dinner in silence, trying to avoid looking at Mattheo. As the Ganiers leave the dining hall, my parents ask me to say.

"Eliana, your behaviour was most defenitly not okay. You know, misbehaving like this and SCREAMING at THE KING OF BELIIA could really mess things up between the alliance. Furthermore, just think about how you make us look, the king probably thinks we never taught you proper manners!", my father's whole face is going red on account of his wrath. He looks like his entire body is on fire.

I scream back at him, "And again, IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU OR ADAM, NEVER ABOUT ME! I never have a choice, my voice is at no time heard. I'm tired of hiding in the shadows, being silenced by you!"

Now my mother interferres, trying to calm us down, "When I was your age, I was never allowed to speak up, say anything, my opinion was worthless all the time, same goes for you. We have to do what's best for our kingdom, whether you like it or not. The Garnies are going to stay here until the end of next week, we are going to arrange a press meeting to announce your engagement and there will be a celebration. After that, we are going to start planning the wedding, where you and your future husband are going to make many important decisions."

We continued to talk for a while until I decide I need a break and go up to my room.

Hearing Mattheo being called 'my husband' doesn't sit right with me. I can't believe that I have to rule a kingdom with him and bear children to inheritage the royal bloodline. WAIT I HAVE TO DO THE DEED WITH HIM. Everything about this marriage is getting worse and worse.

I already can imagine how our future life will be: He's going to make out with different ladies all time, I just know this engagement means nothing to him except keeping the protestants down. He won't care for me at all, probably the only time we will ever see each other is during dinner time and when we go to sleep.

SLEEP. NO. I am not going to be sleeping in the same bed as him. I'm going to ask for a seperate room, or at least my own bed.

*A few hours later in the middle of the night*

I am laying in my bed, totally exhausted, but I can't fall asleep. My mind is keeping me awake, not allowing me to rest. I close my eyes, but all I can think of is my marriage.

I go downstairs to our library, it's one of the few places where I can let go of everything and just read. The silence there is peaceful. You can hear the wind blowing, a decent whistle, the shadows of the trees ever so slithgly moving. The whole room gives me such a steady feeling, I feel like I'm flying on a cloud trough the night sky, around me dozens and dozens of stars.

I take a book from the shelf, sit on a comfortable chair and start reading. The book is thrilling, sucking me in with its alluring plot.

Suddenly I hear footsteps coming towards the library. I wonder who might wander around the palace at such an late hour. I look up from my book and freeze when I hear the squeeking door getting opened.

The candle next to me and the moonlight are the only sources lightening the room. I see the shadow of a big, muscular figure, and something twists in my stoamch. No, it can't be him, can it?

The tall figure now very slowly moving closer to me, that's when I recognize his face. Mattheo. WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?

He gives me a strange look, and asks my why I'm here. "I could ask you the same thing.", I snap back. "Well, I couldn't sleep.", he replies, his voice deep and low, "I guess you couldn't either." He grabs a book from the shelf next to me and turns on his heel, proceeding to the door.

"I didn't know you like to read." Even though I don't really want to talk to anyone right now, these few words just slip from my mouth. Mattheo stops his movement, and says, "There's a lot you don't know about me , princess.", with his back facing me. He gradually turns around to look right into my eyes. We stare at each other, not saying a word, until he pivotts and walks to the door again.

"You know next time you could knock before coming into a room like a mysterious creature, crawling up from behind.", I say in a cocky way. Mattheo's hand, that wanted to open the door, freezes in place, his head turning to look at me.

He inhales deeply, letting out a sharp breath, "Mind that tone in your voice. How am I supposed to spend my entire lifetime with you and your attitude, you make me beat.", he makes a pause before continuing to speak, "But I must admit, that it takes some guts to perform a scene like you did today and to shout at my father, however, if you behave like this in our 'marriage', I will lose my nerves."

He says nothing more and opens the door to step out of the room.

I'm somehow relieved that he's gone now. Why did I even have to talk to him? Guess it's my stupid curiosity that can't make me stop ask questions and I'm never able to keep my mouth shut.

But how could I ever be married to a many like him? And I'll have to pretend I like, no LOVE him, in public places and events. I fall back into the chair and go back to reading my book.