Chapter 14- Wolfstar

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Another sad one-


Remus knew his time was coming to an end. He could feel it deep in his bones. His aging body could no longer handle the stress and pain of being brutally reshaped into another creature once a month for decades. After Wolfsbane had been invented, the wolf inside him could be controlled, and he no longer tore himself to shreds on nights of the full moon, for which he would forever be grateful for, but still the act of transitioning took its toll. Even walking was becoming a struggle, his bones weak, weathered, and worn. His muscles aching and snapping with each movement. Remus knew werewolves didn't get to grow as old as their fellow wizards, with their average lifespan being about 55, before it became too much for their body to handle. Remus was 57, having been married to the love of his life, Sirius Black for 20 years. After both surviving the war, they decided that they didn't want to spend any more time apart and got married. They never had any children, for they never felt the need to because they both felt content with having Harry in their life, him being the closest thing to a son as either of them ever had. But now he had a family of his own, and his own children to raise.

As if on cue, Sirius walked into the deck on which Remus was sitting, rocking in a rocking chair, sipping tea with a blanket draped over his legs, watching the sun slowly begin to descend. No words were spoken, instead looks of love and longing were shared between the two men. Sirius knew. Remus could tell. Remus could tell because every time that Sirius looked at him he would try to hold back tears, covering his pain with a fake smile. Not his authentic smile, not the infectious, tender one that caused his eyes to shimmer and shine with pure joy. This one was a fraud, a phony. It was filled with pain for tonight was the full moon. Tonight was the last full moon.

"Sirius, honey, look at me." He looked up from his spot in the rocking chair next to 

"Remus". His eyes were filled with tears, he was fighting to keep them from falling, fighting to be strong for Remus. 

"Sirius, it's ok to cry. It's ok to be sad."

"Remus, I- I love you so much, I can't- I can't lose you."

"I love you too Sirius. It's gonna be ok. You'll be ok" Sirius nodded, and looked down, a single tear managing to escape down his cheek. Remus placed a hand on Sirius' cheek, cradling his face in the palms of his hand, wiping the tear away. Remus looked at the sky, and saw the sun dangerously close to the horizon.

"It's almost time." Remus stated, his voice flat. Sirius looked at Remus, his eyes full of longing, pleading to all the deities of every religion to stop this, to let him keep his Moony. "Sirius, it's ok. I'm ready."

Sirius wasn't ready. He would never be ready. But instead of saying anything, he kept quiet, and nodded. He had to stay strong for Remus. He had too.

They had decided after the last full moon that Remus wouldn't go in the cellar this time. The wolf had long stopped being vicious, not doing anything except sleeping during a full moon for months now. They didn't have to worry about it biting anyone, or escaping. Being in the cellar for the last few months was simply a precaution. They had decided that for the last full moon, they would go to a small clearing in the woods behind their cottage, away from the damp and cold cellar.

Sirius grabbed his and Remus's cloaks with shaking hands, and helped Remus up from the chair and into his own cloak. They walked hand in hand, Remus using a wooden cane, down the small dirt path to the clearing. The sun was almost behind the horizon now, and soon the moon would be up. They didn't say a word the entire hike, desperately trying to savor their last moments together. Sirius rubbed his thumb against Remus' hand, remembering every small detail in the werewolves' hard, calloused hands, feeling every scar. In no time, they had made it to the clearing. Remus turned to face his husband, who was now openly crying.

"Sirius, I-" He was cut off by Sirius kissing him, almost causing him to lose his balance. He kissed back feverishly, knowing that this would be there last. They kept kissing until Remus felt a soft glow overhead. Pulling away from that kiss was probably the hardest thing he ever had to do. He looked up, and saw the moon starting to peek above the clearing. It was almost time. Remus stared at the moon, his emotions running wild. His entire life he had hated, and was scared of the moon. It had brought him nothing but pain and suffering. Yet for some reason, he wasn't scared now. He stared up at the glowing white orb in the sky, and admired its beauty for the first time since he was five years old. It really was magnificent, shining even through the dark of night. Then Remus felt it. The first bone break. He didn't even cry, having been used to this pain after years of enduring it. He knew that this was going to be it. Soon it would all be over. He looked down at Sirius, and before the transformation could progress anymore, said. 

"I love you, Sirius."

Sirius looked up at his husband, knowing this was it. 

"I love you too Remus." Sirius watched as Remus slowly started transforming in front of him. He watched as hair sprouted over his body. He listened to the sound of bones snapping and rearranging themselves. He looked at Remus's eyes. There was no evidence of pain in those bright golden eyes. Sirius had seen this transformation hundreds of times before, but never like this, never had it been this peaceful. It was strange.

Remus looked up at the moon one last time, looking at the thing that had brought him nothing but misery. Yet he felt no remorse or hatred toward it. He looked down at Sirius. Sirius smiled, but this time it was his real, authentic, Sirius Black smile. Remus smiled back, before he was overcome by darkness.

***

Sirius caught Remus's body before it could hit the ground. He laid it gently down on the soft grass. He watched as the werewolf's form turned back to human, but the image was blurry due the army of tears cascading down his face. Suddenly, a small wolf seemed to appear out of Remus' body. It looked almost like a patronus, but instead of the striking blue color most patronus's take, this one was a dull silver. The color of unpolished silverware. It licked Sirius' face, and danced around him, surrounding him with small streaks of breathtaking silver magic. Sirius watched as it slowly moved away from him, up toward the sky, until it seemed to disappear in the moonlight. Sirius brought his attention back to the body of his husband. He noticed how the scars that had marked Remus' face ever since they had met were now gone, gone as the wolf that had caused him. His husband had endured so many years of pain, and he had finally escaped from it. He was finally free. Remus Lupin, his husband, the Moon to his stars, was finally free.

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I regret this, I cried. 


Words- 1271

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