Outcast

Chapter One

Why does this keep happening?

Just when I think my life is back on track, it falls off again.

••

Dark red
Trickles
Trickles down her arm
A special little secret
Known as self harm

Fiery red
Anger
Builds up deep inside
she's got to let these feelings out
But to who can she confide

Dark sliver
Blade
Is the one she trusts
The one she turns too
When life becomes too much

Long sleeves
To cover her pain
Hide her relief
Hide the cuts again.

~

I sighed and pulled down my sleeves, washing my blade, and putting it back into my backpack. I walked out of the school bathroom and went to my sixth period class- Bitters.

I hated that class. He loved to pick on me, I didn't know why. I always got good grades in his class, I just didn't raise my hand. I'm surprised I haven't had a panic attack in his class yet.

*SNAP!*

I jumped. "Ms. Emmerson, I would appreciate it if you didn't daydream in my class, thank you. Now what's the answer?" He said, looking down at me.

I fumbled with my sleeve. I knew the answer, I just couldn't speak. "I-I-it-it's..." I stopped stuttering. He rolled his eyes. "Just answer the question!" He yelled.

I could feel the room closing in on me. It was getting harder and harder to breath.

I ran out of the room in a hurry. As I was running out, I heard many things, such as that I was a "freak" or "slut", etc.

••

I could finally go home. Finally, finally, and, finally.

"I'm hoooome!" I yelled as I walked into my cozy home. I could smell the cookies my mom was baking, while my dad was playing a video game with my brother.

I walked into the kitchen to greet my mom. She smiled. "How was school?"

I shrugged, scared that if I started talking, she would be able to tell I was lying. I changed the subject right away.

"Can I help make the cookies?" I said.

"Their already in the oven. Go do your homework, dinner with be ready in a few hours." I nodded and ran upstairs.

••

I took out my laptop and signed into instagram. I frowned. I had a new direct message. Once I saw who is was from, I frowned again. Why did my childhood-best friend-who-was-also-my-neighbor-who-was-also-the-school-player-who-hooked-up-with-every-girl-with-the-exception-of-me DM me? We haven't talked in years.

I frowned in confusion again once I read what he had commented.

"Saw u run out of the room today. U ok?"

Although I was confused, why the school player, why he would ask me if I was okay.

"I'm fine."

He responded almost instantly.

He said, "u sure?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I care if ur ok. I don't want u to get hurt, after all, we used to be best friends. We have a lot of great memories together, and I don't want to lose them. Ik we haven't talked in years but I still care about you and care if ur ok."

I didn't respond.

••

The next day at school, I hung low, as usual.

I saw Cole stealing a few glances at me, but soon enough returning to his friends, laughing and joking, probably about who they hooked up with last night.

••

*DING DING DING*

Finally, this boring day was over.

"Come on car, start!" I yelled in frustration at my car. I groaned and got out of the car, and opened the hood. Smoke immediately flooded the air, leaving me coughing and backing away.

"Having some car troubles?" I turned around to see one of the biggest school players smirking at me.

"U-uh-uh y-yeah." I stuttered.

"Let me give you a hand with that." He said and started walking towards me. I tried to back away back away but he grabbed my lower waist. I again, struggled to get away but he wouldn't let me.

"Get the fuck away from her." I heard a low voice say.

He laughed. "What you gonna do?"

"Get the fuck off of her before I rip your dick off."

All he did was laugh in a low voice. "She's mine." He said and smirked, roaming his hands all over me.

I closed my eyes and tried to struggle out of his grasp, trying not to cry. I suddenly felt him pull off of me and land on the ground with a thump. I opened my eyes to see Cole standing over him.

He then went over to me and held out his hand. "You okay?" He said, concerned.

"I-I g-guess."

He grinned as he helped me up. "Guess you need a ride home?"

"I-i'll just c-call my m-mom."

"No."

I rolled my eyes, but followed him to his car.