How Did We Get Here?

1.

It's May 11 2021, She's laying next to me naked.
There is this cold breeze and silence that fills up the bedroom.

And I ask myself "How did we get here?"

Let's go back to the summer of 2015, it was a hot summer, I could feel the warmth on my face. It wasn't a typical summer for me, no beaches or parties were involved or not at first.

I'm about 5'4 feet, with pale skin and big eyes. Some people complimented me on my legs, though I wasn't tall. People would say "I walk like I own the place". I'm the funny one in my friends group, but also the most compassionate one.

My hair would often be the topic of conversations, but I never understood why. I've always been very low maintenance when it came to how I looked. I always had a French braid or a bunn. Over the years I cut, bleached and colored my hair, but only out of boredom. It was never shorter than brah length for my grandmother would kill me.

I just graduated from Highschool and decided to get a summer job, because I wanted these new Nike sneakers for school. My friend Jessy and I got a job at a Water Bottling, Jessy's father was the CEO so I didn't expect myself to do much work.

I would call her parents "Mother and Papa" it was also forbidden to call them anything but that. I liked it tho, it made me feel apart of a semi normal family.
My mom and dad never got along so I was moving between the two every now and then.

Mother told me a few things about the women working there and Papa told me not to talk to the men. Little did he know, I was a lesbian so the men would have never interested me anyway.

My first week there was alright I got assigned to help with paperwork, it was nothing important, but I still gave it my all. There were two women working in administration, Alyssa was very shy, but friendly. Maya was cold and blunt.

There was something about Maya that got under my skin and I hated it. She made my blood boil, but her eyes would melt in the summer sun everytime she went out for fresh air. I would always look at her.
Her hair was usually in a low bunn, it was almost too perfect. I wondered how much time it took for her to get ready, winged eyeliner and perfect red lipstick. She was always late so I figured it took a lot of time.

Maya's eyes were pretty honey brown, she was tall atleast compared to me. She was 5'8 and wore cute jet-black heels. I looked at her work, talk and walk and thought "who does she even think she is?"

I kept analyzing her and grew somewhat curious and annoyed. However I kept my questions to myself.

Mid summer on a slow day, Alyssa started asking me personal questions.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Alyssa asked.
"No, I don't. I'm single. My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago" I answered, to make it clear I was a lesbian.

There was a moment of silence before May-Line joined the conversation.

"So you're a lesbian? You don't look like a lesbian" Maya said curiously.

I laughed, because it wasn't the first time someone has asked me that.

"Yes, I am a lesbian" I answered and continued
"I have kissed a boy before, but I puked right after. How about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, I do have a boyfriend" Maya said.
She looked at me for a second and then asked me about my social accounts. I gave her my Instagram whilst hoping she would look at the pictures I've posted.

I hoped she'd accidentally like on or even send me a DM.

It was almost 4pm so that meant it was time to go home soon. I had to walk two blocks and take the bus home.

As I am leaving work, my sister calls to meet her at a restaurant in City. She explained to me where I should get off the bus, because I've only moved here a few months ago.

The whole bus ride I was a little anxious, I didn't want to get lost or have my sister make a detour just because I couldn't follow simple instructions. I thought often I was doing her a favor by moving here, so she didn't have to be so alone. However now I felt a little like a burden.

I finally get off the bus and make it to the restaurant. They served curry and it was my favorite at the time.