Voltron Watches

Voltron watches things.

Suddenly Allura, Corran, Lance, Shiro, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Lotor, Zarkon, and Haggar were all teleported into a room with chairs, a T.V. screen, and a person that looked relatively human.
      "Hey guys. I'm Corey and I prefer they/them pronouns if you don't mind. I brought you here to react to earth things and customs, somethings from the future, and somethings about Lance's past." I said.
      "OK so let me get this straight you want us to sit here whilst you show us videos about us and earth?" Pidge asks. "Also what's the time time difference between here and our world?"
       "Yes and one day here is one second in your world so you have nothing to worry about." I say. "So take a seat and we will begin with some earth comedy."

The video opens with Jack on the left hand side of the stage and he says "I went away on a lads weekend. Oi oi lads lads lads lads lads. I was with Digby and Rupert. And um." The audience laughs. "Quite the threesome."
Lance, Hunk and Pidge burst out laughing and everybody else looks at them like they're insane.
      "I um." Jack laughs a little. "That sounded less gay in my head."
All of the paladins and Corran started laughing.
      "That the most overrated thing in the world. The threesome."
Lance nods his head. Everyone looks immediately at him.
      "Lance you've had a threesome?" Askes Shiro in his dad voice.
      "Not just me Hunk was there too." He replied. Everyone looked at Hunk in shock and he just shrugs like what can you do.
      "Excuse me, what's what's threesome." Allura asks.
      "It's when three people have sex at the same time with each other." Pidge explains. All the aliens look at Lance and Hunk with widened eyes.
      "Sorry this is a bit of an aside. I had a threesome once at school, ok. It was with his beautiful Italian exchange student called Maria and this chap called  Munford."
The paladins started laughing again.
      "No, you just get in each other's way. Eventually I was like it's probably best if you just go and leave us  two together. Fortunately she was very understanding."
Lance and pidge started wheezing, Hunk grabbed his stomach, Keith and Shiro were both silently laughing away, and Corran and Allura started laughing. The other three just looked at them like they were clinically insane.
      "I uh." Jack laughs. "Munford odd chap but a bloody good teacher."
The paladins started laughing even harder.
      "So lads weekend. Lads weekend ok. We went to Amsterdam Alright. So we're in Amsterdam and uh. Me and my chums Rups and Diggers right we're down this kind of backstreet and um. One of them Diggers ohh naughty guy ok. Diggers is smoking some of the weedy puff." The audience laughs. "Yeah I'm not really into it as you probably guess by the fact that I just called it weedy puff out loud."
Paladins start cracking up again.
       "Ahh what I wouldn't give for some weed right now." Said Lance. Hunk and pidge nodded agreeing with them. Shiro looked at them with a stern look that said No.
      "Weedy puff? Weed. That's how normal people talk Jack."
The paladins laugh again.
      "So the mans name is Jack?" Asked Lotor.
      "Yes his name is Jack Whitehall." I say as politely as I can.
      "No so he was smoking some weed and he turned to me and you know he asked me 'hey Jack do you want to have a suck on this?' uhh not suck, not suck. That was not the word he used."
The paladins and the alteans were all laughing hard.
      "That was not what he. Yeah this story is going really well. I was down a backstreet with one of my friends and he asked if I wanted to have a suck on this."
The paladins and alteans started laughing even harder.
      "That is not." Jack laughs. "I'm having a brain burp. Not suck what's the word? Puff that you to the crackhole down at the front."
The paladins and alteans started laughing to the point of wheezing and Lotor started laughing too.
      "Do you want to have a puff on this weed. Anyway, I said no because you know we're in public it's not a great look. What if someone sees?  He went 'Jack two things. Firstly, it's legal. Secondly, we're in Holland no one knows who the fu k you are."
Lance snorted at that.
      "Smoke it. Now I'm not proud ok. I gave into the peer pressure. This is why you can not smoke a splif on the street in the year 2017. I shit you not. As I put this splif to my lips. I looked up and the bloody google maps car with the 360 camera was driving by." Jack falls down to a crouching position as the audience laughs.
Everybody was laughing including Zarkon and Haggar who were chuckling quietly in the back.
Jack stands up and the picture from Google maps comes on to the screen. We see Jack shake his head heading back to the center of the stage and the video cuts out.
The paladins were still cracking up and so was I after everything calmed down. I walked toward Lance and put my pointer figure on Lance's forehead and I knock him out. Everyone starts freaking out.
      "Everyone calm down I just knocked out for the next video so he doesn't have to watch this twice." I explain. Everyone calms down. "This was something that happened when Lance turned 16 and he took a leap year between schools." The video shows up on the screen and everyone calms down.