moira | alec lightwood

4

I couldn't stop shaking.

My entire body was trembling and aching in pain, every inch of my body was covered in bruises.

I had thrown my Seelie ring across the room ages ago and the sun peering through my window was giving me a better view of the pillow I had next to me on the floor to muffle my screams.

My eyes were watery but I didn't let the tears fall— crying was weak. It expresses that the other person won and they didn't— I'm not weak and they didn't win. I can hold up my own. I could endure my punishments for my own reckless decisions.

I had to stop making reckless decisions.

I was a solider— I was on a mission.

I had to stop getting sidetracked and making last minute decisions that could jeopardize my father's plans. I took out good assets to save a child and now he had to work with second ranks— they were supposed to kill Magnus but I killed them all.

I shakily reached for my stele and sat up with a wince. I leaned back against the frame of the bed and squeezed my eyes shut at the pain. I hovered my stele over my Iratze and activating it.

I opened my eyes and caught sight of myself in the full mirror a few feet away from me. I was in a pair of shorts and a tank top so I could see all the damage on my skin. I went for my Iratze again and watched as a few bruises faded slowly in another group.

I did it a few more times until I heard muffled voices through my door. Quickly, I tossed my stele on my nightstand and my pillow back onto my bed. I hid the Seelie ring and threw on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve right as I walked closer to my door so the voices became more clear.

"He said my name." I heard Clary's voice through the wood. "He said he wants Zee and the Cup for my mother."

I swung open my door right as Alec joined them in the hall. In unison, we both questioned Jace and Clary who stood at his door just a few doors down from mine. "Who said that?"

Alec and I glanced at each other and then back at Clary. She turned to look at us. "Valentine— he's with my mother."

"And he can speak to you through that necklace?" Alec was eyeing the purple shard when I exited my room and walked over to them. "Here, in the Institute?"

"It's like when I saw Dot." Clary said shakily.

"That's a portal shard." I stared at the jewelry and then looked at her. "He told you he wanted me?"

"He knows you betrayed him." Clary told me with tears in her eyes. "He wants you back."

Another step in the plan.

"Oh no." I pretended to look panicked and ran my hands through my messy hair. "Oh, god— he's coming for me. He's going to hurt me."

"Wow— hey, hey," Jace grabbed my shoulders and I tried not to wince because of the few bruises left that I didn't get a chance to heal because of them. "He won't get to you."

"Jace, you don't understand." I quickened my breathing and pretended to go further into panic. "I can take down a few Circle members but he taught me everything I know— I can't defend myself against him—"