𝙅𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 ||𝙎𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙁𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙭 𝙊𝘾||

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚

Everything feels...

Fuzzy

Turning my head, I am met with the beeping of a heart rate monitor. Despite wanting to cover my ears due to the repetitive sound, I am unable to do so. My arms are glued to my side, my hands seemingly becoming weights that I am unable to lift. The only sound clear the agonizing beeps, but I soon feel another sensation.

Someone with rubber gloves is shaking me awake, forcing me to look at them. Incapable of forming words, I simply continue to sit there, hoping they would just let me rest. I realize oxygen is being pumped into me through a mask, making me let out a small gasp of shock. As I open my eyes, the person above me looks relieved and appears to be talking, but all I can make out is "glad you're back", and "we lost you for a second there".

The more I look around, the sooner I begin to realize that I'm in an ambulance. The ground below me is shaking as the worn rubber tires hit every little bump in the road. Sirens roar outside, and the lock of the vehicle's door rattles, sounding like a pocket watch covered in cotton, a low, fatal roar.

Even though every little sound is so loud, they just feel like a distant memory over the sound of the heart monitor. The man next to me is talking to someone on a walkie-talkie. As I crane my neck to look at my feet, all I can see are my bloody sneakers and the large industrial door to the ambulance. What exactly happened? All I remember is being in the car with Marley then blacking out...

That's right! Marley was with me! Though dreadfully tired, I force myself to speak. "Where's Marley?" I manage to croak out. Just those simple words were forcing my throat into a tight knot; it felt like I hadn't drunk any sort of liquid for decades.

"Marley?" The man asked. "You mean the other girl in the vehicle with you?" I slowly nod, struggling to hold the weight of my head on my weak neck. Marley isn't a girl, but I don't have the breath to correct him. 

He looked down at his clipboard, a bittersweet look appearing on his worn visage. "She's in another ambulance, she should be at the hospital a little while after us" He cracked a small smile. Knowing that Marley was safe put me at ease, I don't know what I would do if they were dead or something like that.

He smiled bitterly, nodding to something outside of my vision. I stared at him for a moment before tearing my gaze away to realize there was another person in the main compartment with them.  She handed the person I had been talking to a rather large syringe.

 “This’ll sting a bit, but I promise it’ll help with the pain,” slowly, he injected the unknown serum into my arm. He was right, it did sting. A lot. After that, though, I didn’t have the energy left to keep my eyes open, so I drifted off, my eyelids blinking open and closed before I finally fell asleep.

That’s all I remember from that night. After waking up in a hospital bed, I was told by my mother that Marley, my older sibling, and I had been in a head on car accident. The other person involved was a drunk driver and driving on the wrong side of the road. I find solace in the fact that at least it hadn’t been Marley's fault for the crash.
Speaking of Marley, they died on impact. I found out soon after I woke up. Sure, it was sad, but looking back now, I’m glad they died. Not because I didn’t like them, no. In fact they were one of the only people that treated me like family.
Despite this, however, they were on the brink of death anyway. If they hadn’t died in the crash, I’m positive they would’ve killed themself. Even if they never showed me, I knew they were self harming, I saw their scars myself. Maybe I am being too insensitive about all this, but at this point, I’m jaded.