The Last Roger (COMPLETED STORY)

Part 5: Ahh *Sips the tea*

(listen to the song above with the book if you would like)

My conversation with Fury caused me to take a trip down memory lane in my closet. Piled high in the back of my closet, several boxes of keepsakes were piled on top of each other in yellowing dusty boxes. I pulled down several boxes from the closet of my little townhouse near D.C. All were from my time around World War 2. Not a great time for the world but some good memories came from it. I opened one of the old musty boxes before tracing my fingers over some ancient projects that Peggy and I worked on in the early years of SHIELD. Some of the files had circles of coffee on them from my late-night hours 60 years ago. Opening the files, my hands flip through a few pages before going to my old record player in the living room. Looking through my record collection, I put on a song. The song echoed through the empty townhouse as it crackled on the speaker. The song "Brother Can You Spare a Dime?" started under the needle.

Going back to the boxes, I opened them to find a few files but was mostly filled with old relics. Steve's old dog tags were in there. I should give that back to him sometime. My fingers traced over everything in the box. A few pictures of Steve and me. A picture with Peggy and me with her kids. My first gun. My fingers continued to search through the box until it stopped on a picture of Bucky and a small blue velvet box. It wasn't just him. It was me and Steve too. Steve was so small then that he was about the same size as me. Bucky was in his military blues in front of the ship that he was about to leave on. Right before he popped the question to me. I remember the day so vividly. Bucky told Steve that we had been dating for a few months. The funny thing is, he wasn't surprised. Apparently, he had known for some time. What did surprise him was when Bucky proposed to me right before he left. I knew at the time that there was a chance that he wouldn't make it home but I was in love. I couldn't say yes fast enough. He promised he would come home in no time. That year was the most devastating to my life. I lost my fiancé then my brother.

Opening the small box, the ring sat inside just the same as I left it thirty years ago. Gently taking it out, I placed it on my left ring finger to admire it. It was a simple gold band with a few small diamonds on it. A loud knock causes me to look away from my hand to Steve at my door. "What do you have there?" I show him my hand. "My old engagement ring." He looked it over before thinking back to the day "I told him if he ever did anything stupid, I'd have to do more than punch him." We laugh together. The laugh dies out as I hand him his dog tags "They gave them to me at your funeral. It was one of the few things you had then." He took them before looking through the boxes "I went to see Peggy." I look through the boxes too with him trying to show very little emotions "Oh! How has she been?" He started flipping through the files "She's good." That's a lie. Her dementia has been progressively getting worse. I hope she was able to remember Steve. "That's good. Oh! Look at this picture!" I change the subject to the olf relic. It was us as kids.

The old black and white picture showed us out front of our old apartment with me in a potato sack dress. Steve looked at the pictures more, noting all the pictures from after the war of me. Each picture showed everyone around me ageing, eventually having kids, and growing old. Even Howard had gotten married which was a miracle to Peggy and me. "This isn't the life I wanted you to have." He said softly as he looked over two pictures of Peggy and me. One from 1951 and the other recently with Peggy old with age. I take them from his hands, placing them back in one of the boxes "I know. It's not the life I would have chosen either." The record on the machine ended, causing it to go in circles at the end of the song. Taking the disk off and replacing it with a new disk, Steve asked "If you could change it. How would have you wanted it?"

I started putting the lids on the boxes to put them away again. A sigh left me "Well, go find you first since I know where you were all these years. Then get you and Peggy married." He smiled at the idea. "What about you?" Steve asked as he helped with the boxes. It wasn't hard to think of how I would change it. "I would convince Bucky to not go overseas and marry him. I would have never signed up for the super soldier program and would have died as a loving mother in 2017." Steve nodded his head as we finished putting away the rest of the boxes. "I wish that for you too." Glancing back at my finger, I see that I forgot to put my ring back in its box. "Oops...I..." I started until my mind shrugged. It's not such a bad thing to wear it for a little. It needs some shining. Steve looked at me "What?"

Shaking my head, I start dancing to the music "It's nothing. When's the last time you've heard this song?" Steve had noticed my ring but knew better than to say something. He couldn't fathom what it must have been like after losing him and Buck at almost the same time. It wasn't hard to see that I wished things were different and even after all this time, I never stop loving Bucky.

I just had to figure out a way to live without him.

Insta: bella_billnye_
Tiktok: bella_billnye

Thank you for reading!😘😘