31 (On Hold)

Chapter 32

Verse 1)
Long distance in the way of what could be
Even when you're here, you're not with me
She's having the child I should've carried
I'll be damned if yall get married
How's the baby, How you adjusting?
Ain't gon work, you got problems trusting
Let me stop, I'm supposed to be focused
But these nights are the coldest

(Pre-Hook)
Will you ever let her go? I don't know
Will I ever be first? I hope
But I ain't just sitting around, can't wait for someone to sing my worth
Damn I can't compete with a baby
Is there any room left in your heart for me

(Chorus)
I love him (x5)
Maybe I should call, Maybe I should call
I love him (x5)
But I never call
Maybe that's my flaw

(Verse 2)
Maybe that's why I ain't got a man
Cause I be doing too much thinking
Tryna compensate for your absence
But no drug can take me where you can
No I just want you where I am
1,000 of them, just want one him
Drowning in all of my excuses
Heart is feeling useless
Probably should've used it less

Denise.

Trying to reside my anger was beginning to be a pain itself.

I hadn't spoken to August since I sent him that text message.

I know I specifically told him not to talk to me but I didn't mean it. As stupid as this may sound, him not talking to me only made me want him more.

It was hard to explain but I just couldn't stand it. When I sent that text I thought he would at least plead with me and try to make a effort to correct what he did wrong but he didn't.

I suppose I had it coming. August wasn't that type of guy. He didn't beg or plead hardly. If he did anything it was done on his time. Either that or he just didn't care for me like I cared for him. It was becoming quite clear to me that I was nothing more but a piece of ass to him.

He only wanted me for one thing and I gave it to him like a dummy. Last night when he came over I should've never even opened the door. I should've looked out the peep hole first of all and when I discovered it was him, I should've laid back down and falling asleep.

However, I didn't. I made the choice to sleep with him. I made a choice to send that text to him, and most importantly I made the choice to fall in love with him.

Now here I was again heart broken and feeling alone.

Considering today I had took off and Ty couldn't help me with my problems because she was busy at a doctors appointment.

All I could do was cry. It just seemed to me that all men were the same. All of them would hurt you and leave you high and dry.

Call it what you want I don't care. I only felt this way because August made me feel this way.

He made me feel special, like he loved me, only to turn around and ignore and he didn't even have the courage to tell me she was pregnant.

Ugh! There was no way in hell I'd be with August if the child is his. I just can't. It would be to much drama for me. I'd have to play step mommy and deal with McKinley's bullshit. I just knew she'd throw this in my face. Just like she did when she came to tell me she was pregnant with his child. She wasn't thanking me for saving their relationship,  we all knew I broke it apart.

She was really there to show off that she had won. So I let her win. I didn't fight over men and as much as I wanted August to talk to me or even be with me, I couldn't.

I knew that it would only be right if he didn't. There needed to be no more us. I just needed to get away and clear my head of things.

Things were getting to deep and I was to caught up in my feelings with a man who was home with his baby mama. I needed to find my own piece of mind.

August was building a family that I wasn't apart of.

That's it. I thought.

I got up from my seating place on the couch. I walked into my bedroom picking up my cell phone off the dresser. I went to my contacts and scrolled down to Nolan's number. I hit call.

He picked up on the first ring. "You alright?" His deep voice boomed through the phone.

I knew I might regret this but I didn't care anymore. I was a grown ass women, free to make my own decisions in life and at some point of time I had to live life how I wanted.

"I'm fine I just need to get away for awhile."

He chuckled. I could picture him smiling brightly with both his dimples pocking out on each side. "Where do you want to go?"

I didn't know nor did I care. "Anywhere but here."

"Alright. Pack your bags I'll book the flight as soon as possible." I hung up and did just that.

This vacation I was about to take was well needed.

What y'all think about this vacation Denise about to take....  with Nolan?

Love y'all.