July 1st
Dear Denali,
I can’t take this anymore. Every day is worst that the day before. This is slowly killing me, Nali. I know I might sound repetitive, but I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know how to live like this. I’m trying. I swear to God, I’m trying my best to be strong, to keep you alive in my thoughts, to always remember you with a smile, but I just can’t.
And people keep saying that with time I’ll be better, but death changes everything, and time changes nothing. I still miss the sound of your voice, the wisdom in your advice, the stories of your life and just being in your presence. So no, time changes nothing. I miss you just as much today as I did the day you died. No one knows how much I cried that day.
Every time someone ask me about you, and how I am, I have to fake a smile, hoping that they don’t notice how hard I try to hold back my tears. What if this is what it’s gonna be like for the rest of my life? Fight after fight, barely getting any room to recover. What if I’m gonna have to for the rest of my life act stronger than I am?
I don’t ask for happiness, I know I can’t have that without you. I just ask for a little less pain. I feel empty, incomplete, and it’s crushing me, not letting me breath. How can emptiness be so heavy?
I miss your voice so much, Nali. The way you used to whisper in my ear that you loved me, they way your tone highed up when you were nervous, the way you sang your favorites songs, and the way you called me “Rosie”. I can still hear you in my head, like you were here, but you’re not. You'll never be here again.
If missing you comes in waves, today I’m drowning. And I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to miss you anymore.
Meet me in my dreams tonight, Nali. Please. And stay there for a while. I’ll be waiting for you.
Love, Rosie
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Letters - Rosénali
Fanfiction"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and the hallow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to...
