I know what you mean when you act like that
You don't know it's breaking my heart
Said that it was just never gonna happen
Then almost kissed me in the dark
Every time we talk, it just hurts so bad
'Cause I don't even know what we are
I don't even know where to start
But I can play the part.
~Nessa
-This can't happen again...-he said separating his lips from mine.
-I know, I'm sorry, Jaden....
-Don't worry. It was a mistake on both of our parts. It won't happen again.
-It will never happen again...-I said looking at the floor.
His words hurt, they broke my heart. I knew he and I couldn't be anything more than friends because I was dating Josh, Jaden's best friend and they respected the bro code. But I needed him...needed and wanted to be with him.
~~~~
We were at Anthony's house and the power went out for no reason, so Jaden offered to go to the room where all the electrical installations were to see what had happened. He asked me to go with him and I did.
-Ness, turn on the torch on your phone, it's really dark in here.
-Okay, do you know how to fix these things?
-Yeah, sort of. I'm going to have a look around.
He was looking around the installations for about 5 minutes, making strange faces that made me laugh.
-You think that's funny?
-Your face does.-I replied amused.
-Oh well, thank you.-he said pretending to be offended.
-I don't think you have any idea how to fix this.
-Well... you're right. I'd better call an electrician.
-Yes, you better.
I looked at him and he looked at me. We looked into each other's eyes for a few minutes, our lips were getting closer and closer. We were about to kiss and it was what I wanted, a kiss from him.
-Guys?
We heard Avani call out to us. We quickly pulled away from each other and pointed the torch at the door of the room where Avani appeared.
-We are here.
-What's taking you guys so long?
-No reason. I couldn't fix this. I'll tell Anthony to call an electrician.
Jaden hurried out of the room without looking at me. Avani, who was still in the room, shone her torch on me and looked at me in confusion.
-What?
-What just happened with you two?
-Nothing...
-Did it happen again? Did you kiss again?
-No...I wish...
-Nessa...
-I know Avani, I know... But I just... I love him.
-My friend.- she said, coming closer to me.
-I don't know what we are, I just know that he says it won't happen again but now he's almost kissed me in the dark...
We say we're friends, but I'm catching you across the room
It makes no sense, 'cause we're fighting over what we do
And there's no way that I'll end up being with you
But friends don't look at friends that way
Friends don't look at friends that way
-I think we should stop seeing each other so much.
-What do you mean Jaden?
-Well, when I go out with the boys you won't come and when you go out with them, I won't come.
-Jaden, do you realise what a silly thing you're saying?
-Yes Nessa. But it's the only way I have to respect the codes.
-What?
-What you heard Nessa. We say we're friends but then I see you across the room and I can't think of anything else but having you with me and it doesn't make sense because every time it happens we end up fighting about it and saying it can't happen again but it does. And there's no way you and I are going to end up together.
-Jaden...
-No Nessa, you and I are just friends. And that's all we'll ever be.
-But friends don't look at friends that way. The way you and I look at each other.
-Just friends...
-Just friends.-I whispered.
We got closer and closer until I kissed him. I needed to kiss him again.
Can't even tell if
I love or hate you more
You've got me addicted
And I can't tell who's keeping score
-I can't even tell if I love you or hate you more!
-What?
-You say let's be something more, that you'll talk to Josh and we can be something more than friends but then you regret it and tell me it's best if we're nothing, not even friends.
-Calm down Nessa.
-Don't tell me to calm down. You've got me addicted to you and I don't know if that's my fault or yours but what I do know is that you can't treat me like shit and then say you want to be with me. You don't want me to be with anyone else besides you but you're not with me either. Get your facts straight Jaden , if you love me, talk to Josh and we'll be together but if you don't, let me go.
-Of course I fucking love you! But it's hard for me. I don't want to lose you but I don't want to lose my best friend either.
-If Josh really is your best friend, he'll accept this.-Cooper interjected as he walked into the room Jaden and I were in.
Cooper was one of the first people to know what was going on between Jaden and I, because we are best friends and there are no secrets between us.
-Do you think?-I asked nervously.
-I don't think so, I know. By the way, he's downstairs.
-What?-asked Jaden as he hurried out of the room.
I was right behind him, we got to Josh who was looking at us smiling.
-Hi guys.
-H-hello.-Jaden replied nervously.
-Josh, what are you doing here?
-Cooper called me and said you wanted to talk to me.
Sure enough, Cooper had called Josh so Jaden had finally made up his mind. Thanks Cooper.
-What do you want to talk about?
-Well... you see...
-Jaden and I have feelings for each other.-I said interrupting an embarrassed Jaden.
-Nessa!-Jaden whispered.
-What? You weren't going to be able to tell him, so I did.
-Wow, that's good.
-What do you mean, it's fine?
-Yeah, it's fine. I knew that. At first I was hurt because Jaden, you're one of my best friends and the thought of seeing you with my ex-girlfriend was going to be awkward but Ness and I don't feel anything for each other anymore and I just want her to be happy and if she's happy with you then go ahead.
-Are you sure?
-Of course I am. You're both my best friends and I just want you to be happy.
I couldn't imagine Josh reacting like that but I was glad because it meant I could finally be with Jaden.
-Thank you Josh.-I walked over and gave him a hug, a big hug from two mature people who loved each other a lot but as friends.
-Yeah. Thanks Josh, and how did you know? I mean, you said you already knew we had feelings for each other.
-Well, friends don't look at friends that way.
~~~~
Not a good chapter but I don't have time because of school😖.
I'm running out of song inspiration!!!! If you guys have any song ideas, comment please!!!!
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN NESS'S TIKTOK WITH JADEN? AHHH I LOVE THEM. MY PARENTS.
