White Tulips

Chapter 15

Seojun didn't know how the fight began. They had met up for dinner after Sujin got off from work. She had taken up various part time jobs to pay the bills. With her being busy throughout the day, dinner was the only time they could meet.

They had been talking about Suho and Jukyung. Seojun normally danced around the topic of what Sujin had done back in high school now that they were friends. But this time she had brought it up herself.

"Do you remember that picture I took of you?"

"Yeah." Seojun still remembered how flatly she had said You look cool. He had almost admired her audacity back then, and he did so more now.

"I traded it to get the info on Jukyung." She admitted quietly.

"Ah, even back then my face was such a hot commodity." Seojun said smugly.

Sujin made a face at him.

They joked about the past, about how Han Seojun hadn't changed since then, about how Sujin had changed so much. Then, as they walked towards Sujin's apartment, they got into the serious stuff. About how Sujin just disappeared after the truth about her was revealed, about how Seojun was right that she had only destroyed herself, and no one else.

"I wish I hadn't done all that. Looking back, I want to kick myself." Sujin had said.

"You should have shared, about what you were going through. Suah and Jukyung would have understood. I mean, having your father treat you the way he did... it must have made everything harder to deal with. Looking back, I might have acted better too, even helped y–"

Seojun suddenly noticed that Sujin wasn't with him. She had stopped walking and was glaring at him but Seojun couldn't understand why.

"W-what do you mean my father's treatment?" Sujin asked icily, her face unreadable.

"Well... didn't he used to beat you and pressure you for—"

"Shut up! Just shut up, Han Seojun!" Sujin said, freaking out. It scared Seojun.

"What's wrong?" He asked with concern. He moved towards her, but she moved back.

She looked at him coldly. "Who the hell told you about this? Was it Suho? It was Suho, wasn't it? No one else knows besides him."

Seojun hesitated. "Actually... that time when I met your mom—"

Sujin blinked rapidly. "So you're saying that you've known about this all this time?"

"Kang Sujin, calm down its not a—"

Sujin spoke through clenched teeth, "What's not a big deal? The fact that my family is broken or the fact that my father was an abusive asshole? What exactly about it is not a big deal, Han Seojun?"

Seojun was thoroughly confused now. "Sujin-ah." he called out to her but she kept moving back with every step he took towards her. She was shaking quite visibly.

"Did you have fun, thinking I was so tragic and damaged? Did you have fun pitying me all this time? Did you—" Sujin's eyes went wide as if she hit a realization. "Ya Han Seojun... did you become friends with me because you pitied me?" She said the word with such acidity that Seojun flinched.

It would be a lie to say it hadn't influenced his opinion of her. But it wasn't the only reason they were friends. Surely Sujin had to understand that.

"Sujin-ah—"

"It's true, isn't it?" Sujin's lip quivered. "All this time, you've only treated me decently because you thought I was some tragic case—"

"You know that's not true." Seojun protested but Sujin wasn't listening.

"—and here I was thinking we were actually friends. Han Seojun, would you have even been nice to me if you hadn't known?"

"Does that matter?" Seojun asked, frustrated, "We're friends now, aren't we?"

That had been the wrong thing to say. Sujin's eyes flamed as she suddenly switched. Gone was the shaking and the freaked out look. Sujin was now very calm and cold; calculating in her movements. She gave a sarcastic smile. "Ya Han Seojun. Do you know? I pity you too."

"What?"

"Pathetically liking someone for so long, whining like a boy over everything, acting all childish, you think that makes you attractive?"

"Ya, Kang Sujin—" Seojun warned.

"I bet Jukyung pities you too." Sujin stalked up to Seojun. "Ah, that loser, Han Seojun, until when is he going to be hung up on me? I bet that's what she thinks every time she sees you."

They glared at each other for the longest time. Maybe too long.

"Kang Sujin... you are seriously messed up." Was all Seojun said before he walked away; from Sujin and the entire situation. Sujin's eyes filled with tears which she furiously blinked away.

If Sujin had been more like Jukyung, she would have dealt with this situation maturely. Lim Kukyung would have faced her emotions and not taken Seojun's sympathy as pity. Lim Jukyung would have been up front about how she felt and not pushed Seojun away. Lim Jukyung would have been better.

But Kang Sujin was not Lim Jukyung. Kang Sujin was a messed up girl.