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chapter seventeen
seven kinds of sin
this chapter's kind of spicy y'all...
Sleep was a foreign concept that night as I lay, never more awake, in the guest bedroom, eyes fixed on the stucco ceiling. Steve glared at me from his perch near my clothing rack, his beady (literal beads!) little eyes glaring at me from his stuffed pink exterior.
"What are you looking at?" I mumbled before rolling over and burying my head between the pillow on the mattress, and another that I slammed onto my head.
I was a literal train wreck.
What had I done that was so bad that the universe decided it needed to keep me and Tetsu apart?
That's TWICE now we'd almost kissed and something had gotten in the way. Of course, the second time I was allowed to blame my mother. The first was probably just really bad planning.
The notebook we found in the shipping container was lying on the beside table next to Angels And Demons, a keepsake I couldn't even think of traveling halfway across the world without. Dad had gone through many books during his final hospital stay, but Angels and Demons meant the most. While he was sitting alone in that bed, he had written me a message on the last blank page. I could never bring myself to read it, but it was comforting to know it was there, even if he had never finished the book.
The mere thought of what could be in that notebook scared me. There were lots of things about my dad that I wasn't too sure I was ready to know, like his time with the Iemura group and, even though it was the reason I came to Sannoh, why he left Japan.
But in the end, my mind kept coming back to one person.
Tetsu.
I literally couldn't get him off my mind. Hanging out with him and his idiot friends was the most alive that I had felt in months. I felt at home, a feeling I never felt like I had when we moved to Canada. It was still strange saying 'back home' and meaning Toronto, because I always considered New Mexico my home. But Sannoh had real potential. Sannoh was a place I could see myself calling home, a place I could settle down.
People I could settle down with.
"Fuck this." I mumbled under my breath, casting aside the rust-colored coverlet and sinking my bare feet into the soft carpet next to the bed.
I wasn't going to let my relationship with Tetsu be just another uncertainty in my life. I was going to do something about it.
I slipped out of the room and made my way across the landing before I stopped, fist raised above Tetsu's door, mind running through all the possible outcomes. I had no idea how relationships even worked in Asia, all my knowledge coming from TV, but I knew they were more private and cordial about things over here. I was pretty sure barging into tetsu's room at midnight wasn't considered 'private' or 'cordial'.
