I really don't know yet

what tf am I doing with my life

ok so like, first of all, I am failing 8th grade like a fuckin idiot with like 0 time left to fix my shit and what am I doing? I'm on fuckin Wattpad.

 Secondly, I'm still falling asleep in the god damn mornings like time doesn't matter because I don't sleep at night, and yet I know that tonight I'm still going to be doing homework tell 12 and browsing the web for anywhere between 1 and 3 hours before hopelessly staring at the roof of my bottom bunk tell my papi comes to "wake" me at 5:30 sharp.

 Another thing, which is honestly up for interpretation, I made a friend, two actually although I still need to ask TheNoviceNovalist for his Pinterest account anyway my other friend forgedinbetween who I've honestly started to cherish just for being there for me and letting me be there for her, I feel like I might be messing It all up, or that I'm going to. Because well, what if I'm AFK for days at a time and they think I'm ditching them or some shit? What if I'm the opposite and I push them away by rambling or scare them away by prying to deep. What if I get to close and they don't like that, or they don't mind and I get attached? What if I maybe just a little kinda already am? 

 Also last time I checked a girl my age, size, and shape should be confident enough that when their mom buys them an expensive bikini she should appreciate it rather than fear it like the plague but for some god damned reason I can't seem to bring myself around to the Idea that me having a chest and an ass is something that literally anyone else in the world family included should be allowed to witness. But why? I mean I can look at myself in the mirror an appreciate my body for what it is, like it even, yet the moment I step out of the bathroom its fully draped in loose-fitting / baggy clothing because Idk. It's a pink bikini, I hate pink, maybe that has something to do with it?

 God , I feel like such a damn Fuck-Up right about now.