The Seamster's Secret [Demon Slayer Fanfic]

Ⅲ. Tragedy and Self-Hate

[Continuation]

After the servants came to help out and clean up the place you got up from your spot and capped the wisteria extract. Everything just now happened in such a blur, why are so many demons suddenly popping up at your estate? You sighed wondering to yourself, you had purposely planted some wisteria around the estate but that probably wasn't enough. You should have never served the demon that went by Suji. After he started coming over, demons appeared every time he did.

You stood up and sighed, it's no use crying over spilled milk. It's not like that demon would come back again... hopefully. You decided to go wash off at the lake that was in your estate. It was near your quarters and you didn't allow servants near it so you were sure you could take a cold bath to clear your mind. You went to go get your sleepwear and headed over to the lake, the path to it was kind of hidden by trees.

You stared at the water, the moon reflected off of it as the stars looked like they were twinkling in the water. You untied your hair and shook your head a bit letting the tension all go. You sighed in relief and then removed your clothing, carefully placing it on a rock to the side. Finally, you removed your binding before stepping into the chilly water, slowly submerging yourself into it. You were quite tired but this woke you right up again.

After a short rest in the lake, you got up and remembered you didn't bring any towels... Ah, crap. You decided to say screw it and put on the sleepwear and then picked everything up, running back to your quarters. You knew you had to start preparing for a funeral but festivals were coming up. Choosing whether to delay the funeral for festivals as to not bring sadness during joyous times is quite clear.

After all, there wasn't even a body to bury for your father. After tonight the body will burn in the sunlight. You are glad he wouldn't go to hell as you were the first person he saw when he turned into a demon... or so you hoped at least. "Why did he have to turn into a demon... that's just so cruel." You gritted your teeth together. Whoever turned him into a demon, you have resentment for them now.

You opened your closet door and took out a towel to dry yourself with and fresh sleepwear and changed out of it. After that you sat on the porch right outside your room door, drying your hair. You really did want to cry, the person who saved you and gave you such a perfect life... the person who believed in you without knowing you at all... they turned into a demon and now there will be nothing left of him.

You were devastated, luckily you knew that nobody was around so, as natural as the weather, your tears just starting falling. Soon your quiet crying would turn into sobbing. You never really showed a weak side to anybody, they all saw you as hardworking and kind. Nobody ever saw you cry, and honestly, you never even cried much. When your mother died a few years after you were adopted you didn't shed a single tear.

You just went on with your life, but, this time just hit differently. You gripped at the sleepwear, your tears staining the smooth cloth, you felt horrible. It was so unfair, nobody ever found the reason why your father was in a coma, you tried to research to find the reason but nothing ever came up. You tried so hard, all for nothing now because your father is dead... at your own hands. You blamed yourself, why did you not return earlier, why did you let your schedule go like this?

You always had Akihiro write your schedules and he would always make sure you end around the same time so you'd have time to rest and eat. But, you made exceptions when you were in charge, you were too nice, you weren't there when someone needed you. As a result, you lost the person you loved and admired deeply. You felt like you didn't even repay him for all the things he's done for you.

There you sat, crying in the silent night, alone and beating yourself down. After all, you're only human, these things happen but you can't go back in time to fix it. If only you knew... if only! You kept blaming yourself and soon you couldn't even cry anymore. You just thought of yourself as pathetic and laid down on the wooden porch. "crying over something that has already happened... (y/n)... you're much better than this." You said to yourself.