The Nerd and The Bully

053. Addiction

~ Ashton's POV ~

I took a hit of my joint and drunk my second glass of whiskey. Weed. The only thing that actually helps sometimes. After my breakup with CiCi, life for me has been going downhill. Getting high was a routine. Not only weed. I did pills and cocaine.

Austin sent me to rehab after knowing about my 'addiction.' It helped. I stopped with the pills and the cocaine. Can't quite let go of weed just yet. I look around. My apartment.

I ended up getting it early. I turn 18 in two weeks so the owner didn't care. There was a lot of things Dad gave to me. This apartment, one of his cars, and his house. I didn't take the car or the house. I left it with his wife and kids. It would've been wrong for me to take those stuff away. I don't even see myself doing that.

This should've been our apartment. Me and Gracie's. She probably would've redecorated. Probably would've wanted a golden retriever and name it Alfie or Alfa. I chuckle, remembering that conversation. Seeing her today made me feel things I thought I would never feel.

I don't know what I was thinking breaking up with her. Truth is, I love her so much. That day, I thought that by breaking up with her, I would've been helping her and myself. It did nothing but make us work. AJ told me about her depression. I remember crying as he told me what Callie told them.

We didn't talk much today. I wasn't expecting her to talk to me the times she did. Seeing Chloe today was amazing. I had missed hearing her little voice and listening to her ridiculous but cute stories. Last memory was her hugging me, all sad telling me she was sorry.

I take out my phone. I go to Instagram. I doubt that Gracie posted anything. To be honest, I stalked her Instagram page every single day this summer. Nothing ever really came up. Just quotes from a book. So seeing her face today really lit me up.

Just the same, nothing. She kept our pictures up but changed her bio.

Gracia O'Connor
life is hard, as always but living is relevant
live life and don't give up 🤍

I honestly think that she was mostly trying to convince herself than the people who views her page every day. I mean, she was depressed for God's sake. The feeling comes back again. She texted me so many times after our breakup. I go to my phone.

I can't explain how many times I've looked over these messages. How many times I wished that I could go back in the past and texted her back and told her that I love her and I wanted to be with her. But I didn't. I let my grief get in the way.

CiCi (LOML) 😘: ash, please talk to me

CiCi (LOML) 😘: ash, I love you, please talk to me

CiCi (LOML) 😘: i'll leave you alone from now on. but just know that i love you so much and i always will. i'm sorry for whatever it is i did to make you wanna break up. maybe it's because you need time to grieve. maybe it's because you've gotten tired of me. i'll never know. i love you. be happy. it brings me joy when you're happy.

I didn't realize tears were falling down until I felt droplets hitting my arm in a rhythm. I sigh and wipe my eyes. I had unblocked her so maybe I can call her. I need to hear her voice, even if it was for a second.

I press the call button and placed my phone to my ear, hoping she'll pick up. Soon, the ringing stops and I'm convinced it's on voicemail so I just start to talk. Hopefully she listens to this.

"Hey, CiCi, um... I just. I wanted to hear your voice." I say honestly. "If you get this, you might find this weird but I was looking through our old messages and-," I start to choke up, "and I don't know. Maybe hearing your voice just helps." I wipe my tears. "Call me back, if you want. I won't force you." I say one more time and wipe my tears.

"- Ash?" I hear her voice. I freeze. "- I-I don't know what to say." She says.

"I-I thought it went to voicemail." I admit. "I'm sorry." I say.

I hear her chuckle a bit. "- Don't apologize. I wanted to hear your voice as well." She says.

"I um... I'll see you later. Bye." I say and hang up the phone. That was so embarrassing.

~ Gracia's POV ~

I told Callie about the phone call. She was just as shocked as I was. Maybe we both need each other. Maybe he needs me way more than I need him. I should call him back. Or should I not? We are gonna talk tomorrow.

Ugh, this whole thing is confusing. As badly as I miss him, who knows what might happen in the future. Will I get hurt? Will we end up breaking up again? I don't wanna go through that again.

But I just love him too much. Always have, always will. I dream about our future. Our kids. A house of our own but much bigger. I love him so much. I'm calling him back. I'll call him right now. I walk away from my homework and dial his number on my phone.

After a while, he picks up. "- CiCi?"

"Hi." I say. "I, um, I wanted to talk to you. W-Well maybe just hear your voice." I tell him.

He chuckles. How much I miss his laugh. "- Thank you for calling." He says. "- I'm glad nothing's as weird as I thought it would be."

"Same." I say.

He clears his throat. "- I'll see you tomorrow, I'm out shopping for the apartment right now." He says.

He got the apartment? "You got the apartment?" I ask him.

He chuckles. "- Yeah. The owner decided to just hand it to me since I turn 18 in two weeks." He says. I forgot his birthday is in two weeks. I smile.

"That's nice." I say. "I'll see you tomorrow at school. I gotta go put Chloe to bed." I tell him.

"- Tell my little bean I said good night. And good night to you and Callie as well. See you tomorrow, CiCi." He says. He then hangs up.

Ugh, what a night. And what a day it might be tomorrow.

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A/N: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry if it was short, I'm just so busy at the moment. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Comment your thoughts and vote! Thanks for reading!