Unforgiving Years

23

On a cold evening, the sun has already set.

Twilight came in through the French windows, lining the candlelight on the table, tracing the delicate outlines of each plate of food.

Mu Xueyi looked at the darkening sky outside the window and silently counted the passage of time.

There are many clouds in the sky tonight.

She thought, I'm afraid I can't see the moon.

The waiter brought the last dish, and Shen Huaixing whispered to her: "Xueyi, the dishes are all here."

Mu Xueyi turned her head, glanced lightly at the sumptuous dinner on the table, and said: "I have no appetite, you can eat it."

"Why don't you have an appetite?" Shen Huaixing stood up, sat down beside Mu Xueyi from the opposite position, picked up the chopsticks and helped her with a dessert, "This pumpkin pastry is your favorite, don't you remember it? When I went to other provinces for research, you asked me to bring you a copy of their pumpkin cakes. After class, I was sitting next to the playground, eating while watching the training of the school’s national flag team. Fortunately, this shop has also been in the past two years. When you drive to Anyang, if you want to eat, I can often bring you here in the future..."

"Did you let Mu Ruqing ask me to accompany you for dinner?"

Mu Xueyi's emotionless voice interrupted her.

Shen Huaixing squeezed his chopsticks tightly, and the corners of his smiling mouth slowly flattened:

"I said no, do you believe it?"

"...But you are here too." Mu Xueyi stared at Shen Huaixing, "You obviously know that you shouldn't use Mu's family to approach me, but you are still indulging Mu Ruqing."

Shen Huaixing was silent for a moment, then suddenly smiled:

"You are right. I knew that this shouldn't be the case, but I still didn't refuse."

Mu Xueyi clenched his fists.

Shen Huaixing said in a deep voice, "Xueyi, let's have a chat, okay?"

Mu Xueyi didn't speak.

Shen Huaixing lowered his eyes and looked at the pumpkin pastry on the plate with a very soft voice: "You may not know that after breaking up with you, I will not regret it a day. I didn't know how to love you at that time. Everyone said, "You As a child, the best way to love you is to let go of you. I thought I made you perfect, but it took a long time to realize that none of me did it, I just did a stupid thing."

She paused, "After that, I tried to be with others, tried men, tried women, and even tried other students. To be honest, they are all very good. Some are richer than you, and some are better than you. You are smart, and some of them like to eat pumpkin cakes from this shop just like you do, but you never ask me to buy them as often as you do, just to prevent me from taking the detours of those two streets."

Mu Xueyi asked softly: "They are better than me, why can't you stay with one of them?"

Shen Huaixing stared at Mu Xueyi, and said gently and solemnly:

"No matter how good they are, it's not you."

Mu Xueyi's thumb armor fell into the palm of his hand.

If...Shen Huaixing could tell her this a few years earlier, or if she didn't break up with her back then, maybe...

The first love when I was young, I always have the most beautiful filters in my memories, and the most unwilling to be unwilling.