Far Away Love ✓

√chapter twenty

Zainab's POV

Looking at the moving fan continuously, for didn't know how long was giving me a feeling of vertigo.

One thing which made me sure that I spent too much time just laying on the bed, glaring at that white-colored fan was that the sun was full-on burning mode when I got home and now through the open window,  I could watch it was long gone.

Annoyed by everything, I sat up while running my cold palm on my whole face. Everything which happened today was coming into my mind like a horror movie. After bringing my both legs closer to my stomach, I leaned my back on the crown of the bed and closed my eyes.

My rude and loud answer to Meekal's confused and sad eyes to Shaiq not paying heed to my red and swollen face due to crying as he was so busy talking with someone on the phone; was before my shut eyes.

The reason Shaiq was already in the parking of the building when I dashed out was something I was thankful for. If it weren't for him being there, I didn't think I would have been able to call him; I perhaps would have come home on my own. Shaiq was there because I texted him right after the interview to pick me up. Though I didn't cry at that moment, my tearful eyes were enough for anyone to have an idea that I would burst out anytime soon. But talking about Shaiq, he was on a call for the whole of the ride and he didn't once look at me. In the same hurry, he dropped me home and then drove back to wherever he wanted to go.

I wanted him to notice that I was crying. I wanted him to ask me that whether I was crying and if yes, then what was the reason? I knew my sobs were audible enough but Shaiq was too engrossed to pay heed to them. If he would have once questioned me, I wouldn't even think twice before telling him everything about my difficulties when I was living alone with my paralyzed brother.

But looked like, he got some other things to worry about, I was not a part of which.

Meekal was right and caring about me selflessly, that thing was making me feel more guilty. Slowly, I was making everyone who tended for me become bitter with me. The guy who always helped me in my difficult times, who didn't make me feel alone in these five years, lightened up my bad days with his jokes; without expecting anything in return since I lost Shaiq. I acted terribly to him. He had no reason to worry about Shakir's thing yet he thought of me so important to figure it out just for my safety.

And what I gave him in return? A slap of my words.

Getting overwhelmed by my thoughts, I opened my eyes to find some tears rolling down my cheeks. I should apologize to Meekal or else this remorse feeling would kill me from inside. He didn't deserve my harsh words. I looked here and there in search of my phone. When I spotted it below my pillow, I quickly grabbed it. But little did I know, my hands would turn frozen seeing his name in my contact list before I could even call him. I didn't know how to start a conversation with him. I threw away my phone in anger before grabbing my head in both hands while warm tears flooded out of my eyes.

It was my fault. I didn't know how to talk to people. First, I made Shaiq distant from me, now Meekal. I kept on hurting everyone.

               _______________________________

I didn't know how I went to sleep after crying my heart out and what made me get awake again. Perhaps the coldness in the room was the reason that I roused up again as my whole body was shivering with chills. After failing to ponder upon the reasons, I opened my eyes to find my lids so heavy as some deep weight is placed on them. I quickly covered the woolen blanket around myself. At first, everything felt so paranoid and looked so pale but then everything which happened today (if I was not wrong that I had woken up on the same day) came to my mind. Suddenly my heart started sinking again with sadness and guilt.