Pretty Boy // H.S

7.

Harry

"The first person I ever loved was a girl called Christina," I tell Joni, her back pressed to my chest and body between my legs while we soak in the warm bath.

After such intense sex, we both needed something to relax ourselves, especially given the significance of what we allowed to happen. Never before in this job have I had unprotected sex, and never had I reached the point of almost kissing someone. At its core, we essentially did. Our lips grazed against each other's the entire time, and if they weren't it's because our tongues were outlining them. I shouldn't be indulging in such an activity. Doing so makes my job complimented.

But it doesn't feel like a job anymore.

While I know she'll pay me at the end of the week, having already done so for the first evening before our arrangement, I keep forcing myself to forget that fact and just enjoy the moment. There's been a few instances over the past few days where I've realised this goes beyond work. Where I realise I didn't approach her in that bar to fuck her for money. I did so because I wanted to talk to her. I saw how down on her luck she was, how defeated she looked, and then I caught those beautiful eyes and suddenly I had no control over what I did. When she asked me to go upstairs with her, I was shocked, but I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to enjoy myself with a woman as gorgeous as Joni. A woman as absolutely intoxicating as the pretty lady.

Then we fucked, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to shake the memory of her skin on mine or the way she screamed my name. I wouldn't be able to forget how delicious she tasted, and how well we fit together. There have been few instances where I've perhaps become too attached with clients, but I stop seeing them the minute I do. It's unprofessional to mix business with pleasure, and could completely derail my career. This is my source of income. I can't lose that.

But with Joni I can't seem to find a way to break things off. Maybe it's the knowledge that after this week I'll never see her again, but then in the pit of my stomach I feel a knot start to form about that prospect. It tightens each time I remind myself how long I have left with her. It's already becoming uncomfortable, twisting away at my organs and refusing to lessen. Yet, I can't seem to stop myself from falling deeper down the rabbit hole.

Joni is an exceptional woman. She's hardworking, smart, kind, brilliant. Everything someone should aspire to be. But she barely sees it within herself. It's not that she needs a knight in shining armour to save her from this cruel world and prove how worthy she is of the fairy-tale, but sometimes I find myself wanting to be that. Sometimes, I find myself craving the time to tell her everyday for the rest of her life.

It's not about feelings. That's the one thing I've conditioned myself not to feel through this job. But it's something beyond a sexual attraction. And I hate myself for allowing it to get this far.

Tonight, when we fucked against that wall, all I wanted to do was kiss her. I've told my clients for years that kissing on the lips is off limits because of how personal it is, how it complicates things. It's been the only rule for me. Suddenly, I want to break it. I want to go against every single thing that I believe in just for this woman that I met in a bar the other night.

She's not just a woman, though. Not anymore. Joni is special. That's the only way I know how to describe it. She's unlike anyone else I've met. Her glow is brighter than any star in the sky. I feel lucky to be within that orbit, even if for a short amount of time. It seems a blessing to have met her that night. A night I was supposed to be meeting with another client, but ended up cancelling at the last minute. I went to that bar for one drink while I waited for a cab, then I saw her across the room and suddenly I wasn't able to go home.

"Tell me about her," Joni asks, her voice soft from exhaustion. Our movements to the bathroom were slow and lazy, both of us completely spent. Just holding her in here has already soothed my aching muscles.