The Beginning of a New Me

Chapter 5 - Finding friends who I can be myself around

*October 2020*

I decide to go onto Jade's Instagram story, it says that she is live on Twitch, I go onto her profile, and click the link in her bio. It takes me to her Twitch and I followed her. When I joined she was editing Skeppy, and when she was done she played horror games. One was on a train, then Lights Out, then another one. She then ended her stream. 

*Time skip to Jade's next stream*

This time she was playing the Sims. And it was her first stream as an affiliate. So that meant people can sub, send bits, and donate. I didn't join until 20 minutes or 10 into her stream and noticed she had a donate button. I said in her chat ":O you have a donation button." After a few minutes I finally donated to her, but I couldn't change my name so it said my full name "Shaneil." Her reaction was so full of happiness and shock. "I am your first dono, I think" I said. "You are my first" she replied when she read the dono. After a few minutes I decide to donate again. (Each time I donated was 5 pounds for her, which was $8.76 CAD for me, also I'm gonna skip to the end of her stream because it's the only thing I remember, besides there's a clip of it so yeah). 

*Time skip close to the end of her stream*

I donate 5 pounds more making it 20 pounds for her. "*laughs* No. That's 20 pounds. What- I- Ok how do I pronounce your name? Is it Shanel- Shaneil? Shanelly? I'm so- I'm so sorry. Thank you so much." I responded with another 5 pound donation saying "It's Shaneil or you can me Shay for short :D" and from that point on she has been calling me Shay. Until the end of her stream I donated, in total, 65 pounds ($113.79 CAD). And she used that to upgrade her set-up, and has grown ever since. (Quick promo for her, her Twitch is JaddieTB. You should go check her out she is pretty amazing). 

Over time I have met Phee, Fletcher, Aimz, Osenitch, Tom, Cyanideee_, and everyone who I have met today through Jade :D (August 10, 2021). A few months ago, April to June, I was going to a program called Bridging to Employment. Before, I was in a voice call with Jade, Fletcher, Aimz, Osenitch, and Phee. Had to stop going in because of the course. It started at 9am each day, except the weekends. For a while, barely anyone had gone into the vcs. Sometime last month, Jade had created a gc with us in it on Discord. Phee, Aimz, Osenitch, Fletcher, Jade, and I, and other people too, but I won't say who, for their personal privacy, were in it. 

As for meeting Tom, I met him when he was applying to join JaddieSMP. The SMP was just gonna be Jade, Aimz, Osenitch, Fletcher, Phee, and I but Phee had the idea of starting a SMP with lore. It was invite only, and only like 12 people in total on the SMP. This was a month or less before my course, so I had to put lore and Minecraft to a pause. While I was in the course, no one had been on and no one had been streaming it. In my head I had thought they were all waiting for me to be done the course, still don't know why no one is on the SMP to this day. 

TW barely eating food

March 22 was when I had vented in a discord server I'm in that I'm not eating enough, and.. you know what here's what I put. For about a week now I have been barely eating. And I went one day without eating, this was because I pulled an all-nighter and after a while I fell asleep. I got insecure about my weight. I was fine with it before and idk why I'm insecure about it again. I have lost weight due to not eating enough, and I told my social worker about it. And I might get a gym membership idk, still thinking about it. To this day I'm still not eating enough. I wear big hoodies to hide my weight. Tom had written a nice message to that, and had offered to be my nightmare and bug me to get snacks throughout the day. After agreeing he had made a deal with me saying if I got a snack he'd get a glass of water. I got myself a lil snack, and he got himself a glass of water. Another person also gave me some advice for eating. (Everyone in the discord server is the nicest community ever. I love them all)