Thaumaturgic

Prologue

The inky black fan hits an artificial gust of air into my face, if I hadn't turned my hair into a choppy pixie cut when I was pissed at my Mum it would have blown in my face. The fan stands on a plain wooden chest of draws. The top left hand draw of which is pulled open. Its contains photos from the baby blue polaroid camera I got for my thirteenth birthday. The camera itself is next to the fan. The only other thing on top of the draws is a small, black radio. At the moment it's tuned into my favourite one, 'you', the song playing is called 'when the darkness comes'.

I grab a handful of photo's out of the draw and sit on my bed. My white sheets are fresh and still smell of washing powder. I have spent most of the weekend up here organizing my hundreds of photos into albums. I want to start the new school term with a tidy room. 'Tidy space, tidy mind' as my Mum says.

In the distance I can hear the excited screams of my brothers playing football with our cousins. I have two older brothers: Kyle and Nathan and one younger one, Rodger.

Kyle's the oldest of the three of us (twenty-eight). He's only my half-brother from Dads side. People never think that we're related because we look so different, him being mixed race and me being white. Which always pisses me off. I don't know why but it does, maybe I like being his sister and I want people to know. Kyle keeps his hair dead short; I think it's to show off the scar behind his right ear. It gives him a sort of don't mess with me sort of vibe. He got it when a group of kids beat him up all because he had a lisp. He looked a real mess after, but he keeps the scar as a reminder to everyone that he's been through some shit. He's staying with us while he looks for a new flat to live in. Him and his girlfriend Marissa had been living together but they broke up about two months ago. I don't think he wants to leave though; Dad's fount loads of good places for him, but he never likes them.

Nathan's nineteen. He doesn't look like anyone else in the family, with his dark ginger hair and green eyes and adagial build. Sometimes I wonder if he's adopted, not that it would change anything if he is. He decided to grow his hair out about a month ago and it's at a weird stage at the moment, at times it looks like a bush and others a mop. Nathan's the tallest of us at the moment. He's studying a geography course in Sheffield. I should be making the most of having him home since he leaves tomorrow but I'm not in a football mood at the moment. Besides, between him and Kyle being home I've been lucky to get an hour to myself. They both constantly want to do this, or that and drive here or get a train to there. It's all very tiering.

I love my big brothers, we've always been close, but they can sometimes be a little overprotective. They do have their good points though. Thanks to Kyle I can drive and fix almost any problem a car has. Thanks to Nathan I'm acing geography and I've learnt basic parkour. They've always included me in everything they do, and they never view me as weaker than them. This doesn't stop them from protecting me at any cost.

Because of this I try never to baby Rodger, I know how annoying it can be. He already has Kyle and Nathan watching every move, he doesn't need me added into the equation. He's more of a loose screw than the rest of us, I hate to say it but it's true. He's been suspended twice and its begun to be a surprise if he doesn't have a detention. Dad recons it's an attention seeking thing and I have to agree. When you're the youngest child of four it must be hard to get a word in edgeways, especially since we're so competitive in this family. Me and him look pretty similar, the same golden eyes, mousey brown hair, small nose, and average physique. He's not as close to me as Kyle and Nathan are, in fact he's always been a little distant from all of us. I wish he wasn't but I can't do much about it. He refuses to talk about anything that's bothering him and I respect that wish for privacy, I just hope he has some form of outlet at school. Thought seeing who he hangs out with I doubt it. If Kyle or Nathan knew who his friends were they'd lose it. But not me. I think me and River have a silent connection, and agreement not to snitch on one another and to leave any concerns be.

Mum and Dad sit on the outdoor sofa talking with my uncle and aunt, from Dad's side. My Mum is an only child, but my Dad more than makes up for that with his five siblings, which is the unspoken reason for them having so many kids, he's used to a busy house.

Despite the fan I'm sweltering. So I uncurl my legs from under me and plod over to the window. My blind, made of bamboo covers half of it so as to try and keep the sun out of my eyes. I crack the window open and take a brief glance outside. The sun is shining blindingly bright and there isn't a cloud in the sky, which is all due to change tomorrow. The freshly mown lawn is starting to look messy thanks to the football matches that have been nonstop of hours. I turn back to my bed, the plain floorboards creaking with every step I take. The walls of my room are white but are decorated with posters, photos and shelves. I stop to admire my photo collage above the desk. There are photos of all of my friends and family throughout my life. The one that always catches my eye is the one of me and my best friend on the ferry. The photo, taken by our other friend, captures the moment I spilt my slushy over the two of us. Chester's laughing and I'm looking at him trying to hold back a smile. It's my favourite picture because it's real.

I sit back on my bed. I'm onto my third album which I decided would be my pictures of nature. So far I have done; holidays and day trips. Under my bed I have a large box in which I'll keep all my albums in once I'm done. Nathan got it for me along with the album and more film for my camera before he left for university. I slot another photo into the plastic tabs I stuck down. The picture is of a small waterfall we saw in a park one day, the rocks were a deep grey: almost black and covered in shining green moss, the water glistened in the sunlight and the trees looked young, caught in mid sway. The perfect picture of a perfect moment on a perfect day. I take in a deep breath and let it out with a smile on my face. I slot the next photo into place. Lips moving silently along to the song playing on the radio. My finger itch and I hop off my bed and over to my camera, there isn't anything to photograph other than the room I see every day but I want to remember today. I aim the camera towards the bed covered in photos, my finger lingers over the button. I pull my eye away from the camera for no reason in particular and look through the camera again. I snap the photo, and wait patiently as the film is fed out. I hold it by the white strip at the bottom and wave it around a little, I grab the permanent marker form my desk and write the date:

07/04/19

This photo will go in my happy days album. An album full of moments like this when I feel content and happy with my normal life. There are so many of these moments that I have missed but that's ok, some moments are meant to be lived and then forgotten.