I felt like I was living under water the next few days. I wasn't certain if it was because the loss of my cousin, or because of my medical situation. Probably a bit off both. I slept most of the time in recovery. Not that I was tired, I just was to pained to stay awake. Everything was different now that Voldemort was out in public. I knew things would never be the same after the war was over with.
The Healers actually put me on a medication that helped with my sleep. I have been having really weird dreams recently about Sirius, he kept telling me to take care of Remus. I didn't think that my cousin was gay, I just thought that Sirius and Remus were really close, loosing their best friend James together. I think they were like brothers, not like a couple or anything like that. But they did really care for each other.
Remus did come visit me a lot, so did Molly and Dumbledore. Remus was just the one who came more often than the others. My mom and Dad came every time they could, but they had jobs. My mom was started school, I guess. She has been learning how to heal. Our house is going to me sort of a makeshift hospital for any Order Member. St Mungo's was great, but the Death Eaters are unpredictable, we wanted a safe place for our members to recover just in case St Mungo's gets infiltrated.
"Tonks," said Remus quietly, coming into my sick room. I smiled at him, he sat down on the chair about 2 feet from my bed.
"How are you?" I asked.
"You're the one in the hospital," said Remus.
"I know, but are you better?"
"Define 'better'."
He was still upset about Sirius. It has only been a few days since he died.
"It will get easier," I said, trying to comfort him.
"But how do you know?" asked Remus, frustrated. "I watched him as he fell into that arch, I didn't do a thing about it... I could-"
"No, wouldn't have gotten there in time," I said. "You could have been the one-"
"I would rather be the dead one," said Remus quietly. "Then I wouldn't have to loose another one of my best friends.."
"Then Sirius would be in here mopping about his last best friend in the world dying," I said, "He would take it even worse than you."
"I just wish he had one last moment as a free man," said Remus, shrugging.
"He died in combat, the one way he wanted to die. He would rather die in combat a fugitive than die from old age as a free man," I say.
"You're right, I just feel so alone now..."
"Hey, you've got me," I said, reaching to touch his knee.
"Tonks-"
But there was a knock on the door and a Healer came in.
"Oh, was I interrupting something?" she asked.
"No," I said, removing my hand from Remus's knee.
"Okay then," she said. The Healer had this motherly sort of look to her. She reminded me of Mrs. Weasley. "I just need to do some more test and then we shall let you go back to.. wherever."
"Okay," I said. Remus got up.
"See you later, Tonks," he said, getting up and leaving.
"Hey, stay please," I said. "I may need help getting back."
"Fine," he said, "I want to get some tea.."
I couldn't fully stand for more than a few moments, but I was able to do the rest of my recovery at home. They sent an owl to my mum, I had to stay with someone who can help me recover. After a few minutes, Remus came back in my room.
