Him

02. Eyes contacts.

Looks kill love, as they revive it. - William Shakespeare. 

Harry was walking from the bar to his apartment, he was watching cars passing by him while tugging his jacket around him because he was cold. He looked at the streets around him for a while, taking in every detail the moonlight was giving to the buildings. He stops by a bench and sat down, not knowing why. He just sat there and realized he was lost.

Not only lost in the big city, but also in his life.

He grew up in Holmes Chapel and was always conscious about where he was going, and what he was doing. But now he was lost in London. He moved to the city in September, to integrate a literature university. Back at home, he had his bearings.

Now he was just lost.

At first, he was very excited about it. Because, well he is him.

He has always been excited by everything, joyful, kind, nice, cute, generous. This is how he would normally describe himself. But, here, on the bench of a lonely street of London at night, he wasn't.

He hated being alone. For Harry, being alone meant having no bearings, no one to lean on when things get rough. His bearings were Zayn and nice and caring people. It might sound weird to you, but Harry always felt comfortable and far from alone when he was surrounded by those people. For him being alone, is also to be surrounded by people and still feeling like you are transparent. It scares him to know that maybe one day he will be alone. He has already suffered from abandonment and being alone, trapped with his thoughts, was his worst fear. But unfortunately, being alone was one of the side effects of the uni.

University was scary. At first, when he discovered that his best friend was going to the same school as him, he thought that it was going to be great, that he would never be alone, that he was going to realize his dream. Guess he was wrong. He even wondered if he wasn't in a nightmare.

Besides living in the same flat, he and Zayn barely had time to hang out as they were doing in high school. He was his only friend. Even if everybody loved Harry, Zayn has always been his real friend. They were always together, sometimes people around were wondering if they were able to spend more than one hour apart from each other.

Well, the question was answered when they entered university.

Zayn was studying art and literature, but they weren't in the same class. And Harry felt bad about it. He missed Zayn all the time. He always needed to be reassured and to be taken care of. But for the moment, no one could do that. Even Zayn's small efforts to get him to meet for lunch, or dinner, were not enough. Harry was depressed.

But Harry kept in mind that it's bad for a good.

He has a huge passion for literature. He can spend 24 hours reading a book, even though he knew the ending. Back in Holmes Chapel, he was kind of friend with the library's lady and helped her a lot with ranging books and stuff. He always dreams about being a literature teacher. Teaching his passion. What a dream.

That's why he decided to put his personal life aside to focus on his studies, at least for the first semester. He was the perfect student. never going out to parties, always present in classes, perfect notes. All the students of his classes were coming to him to have his notes. He read at least one book per week. He was determined for his exam. 

When he ended his first exams, he tried to invite Zayn to hang out in the bar where every student of the university was going. He wanted to relax a bit from the stress of the exams, and mainly see his best friend. But sadly, he couldn't. Zayn said he needed to get his mind clean of the stress from his exam, before going out again. This, of course, meant that he was going to spend the day in his room, smoking, painting, and sleeping.