Lutfanessa Jana has never belonged. Or at least that's what she tells herself.
Brooding, snarky and obsessive to a fault; sometimes, Lutfanessa knows nothing better than to see everything with a very critical eye. A characteristic feature which she...
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IF MY LIFE WAS A MOVIE, it would start with me kneeling in a pool of blood or me unsheathing a sword or me frolicking around in a field full of dandelions.
I jest.
Mine would most definitely start with me just sitting and brooding over life — which, of course, would be a very big flop because no one would watch it. It'd be that simple, and perhaps even depressing. And that is a simple statement that my dear twin sister, Lalitha, or as I call her by her daak naam, Lola, is having a hard time understanding.
"Mishti, come on, don't let yourself down like that," She says. I scarf down another potato-cheese sandwich before looking at her. I quietly envy the way the collar of her cotton coat is turned up against the cool, humid wind blowing in from the window. The ugly bright yellow embroidery of flowers that I had sewn onto the lapels of the jacket on one dreary evening stand out, bringing out the gentle brightness sparkling in her warm, dark brown eyes.
"Lola, I am not letting myself down — I am just accepting the truth. My life is boring and if it was ever made into a movie, it would be a waste of money."
"Ever the optimist, na?" She mocks, stealing a bite from my sandwich. I glare at her but she ignores me, tapping her nails, which are painted a shade of baby yellow, absent-mindedly against the windowsill as she observes the road. I dab at my mouth with a napkin to get rid of any sauce smeared before taking another huge bite of the sandwich.
Lola and I are non-identical twins, and yet, I graced the earth with my presence before her — a fact I never fail to shove in her face. We have the same eyes, they say, but I know for a fact that hers are brighter and prettier — a fact I am equally proud and envious of. She is the lovelier one by a pretty long margin — she has got the slender figure, tall frame, sharp features and gentle touch. I got stuck with the broad shoulders, long back, shorter frame, gentler features but sharper touch.
Lola talks again. "Why are you doing this?"
I lift an eyebrow at her. "Do what? Eat? Huh, what a wonder, na? I probably eat because you know, it's necessary to sustain life, but eh what do I know?"
"No, you, being so pessimistic about this whole trip," She says, lifting one perfectly threaded eyebrow back at me, a condescending smile on her lips. I feel a creeping urge to smack that expression off her face, but Maa would scold us both for engaging in the cat-fight. I take another bite of my sandwich before answering.
"What a fantastic question indeed," I say, and catch Maa looking at the two of us from the rearview mirror. Careful to keep my expression natural, I turn to Lola and speak. "Firstly, this is no trip. We are moving here. The faster you realise that, the better. Secondly, the reason why I am so upset might lie in the fact that we just changed states, not only cities, and that I had to leave my whole life behind, you see. But you know it might also lie in the fact that pessimism is just innate when it comes to me, like you have already established before. Thirdly, you're wrong and I am a realist, not a pessimist."
