My Summer of Firsts

Chapter 32 - The Moment of Truth

When I got off work that evening, I went straight to Elian's to lay out my plan. I wanted his thoughts on the matter. He asked me to live with him, so I worried he might take this as a slap in the face. He might think I wasn't as committed to him as he was to me.

I didn't bother knocking; I hadn't for a while.

"Hey, babe." He walked into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in one hand, holding two bottles of beer by the neck between his fingers on the other. He laid that down on the coffee table and came over to kiss me. "Ready to experience the wonders of Chicago?"

I glanced at the television behind him where he had the movie Chicago pulled up. "Is that a not-so-subtle hint?"

Elian shrugged, grinning. "It's a great movie that just so happens to be set in a great town."

I nodded. "I'm sure."

"It's not my fault you'd never seen a musical before you met me."

"I've seen musicals before you."

"I'm not counting Disney movies."

"I saw The Wizard of Oz." I countered.

He patted my shoulder and slid his hand down my arm.

"I want to talk to you about something." I took his hands in mine and pulled him over to the couch.

"This seems serious."

I nodded. "It is."

"The movie was a joke, baby." he said. "I mean, it is great, and I'd love to watch it with you, but I'm not pressuring you."

"Just let me get this out, while it's fresh in my head." I'd rehearsed what I wanted to say to him for hours after Derek left the store. My heart was racing as I tried to think of where to begin. I'd come up with too many opening lines to kick it off. They all warred in my mind for dominance.

I took a deep breath, hoping that he would understand my sentiment regardless of my word choice. "I love you." That seemed like a good place to start.

"I love you, too."

"Yeah. I know. Um, but the thing is I'm worried about moving too fast."

"I get it." He gripped my hands tighter. "I promise."

"Please." I shook my head.

"Sorry." He mimed locking his lips.

"You really don't get it, though. Because I want to go with you when you leave."

Elian pushed forward and kissed me, grabbing my face between his hands. It was a great kiss, so I allowed it. Even letting it extend a bit too long before I pressed my hand against his chest and pushed him away. "There's more."

"Okay." He let out a giddy laugh.

"I don't want us to live together."

His smile faded. "So, you just want to come for a visit?"

"No. I want to move there. And I want to be with you. But I feel like I need my own place."

"I don't understand. Why would you want to waste the money when you could live with me for free? Or, if you really felt like you needed to contribute, you could just help pay the rent on my apartment."

"If I'm going to build a life there, I need to really build something for myself, not just glom onto what you have. Maybe that seems dumb to you, and it probably is a lot of extra hassle, it's just something I think I need."

Elian placed his hands on my shoulders. "I think I get it."

"Really? You aren't mad at me?"

"Of course not." The conviction with which he spoke made me wonder why I'd ever doubted his reaction. "And even though I'd much rather have you with me all the time, if this important to you, then I support you one hundred percent."

I felt the prickling at the back of my eyes that meant tears were about to spill over. I blinked a few times, taking deep breaths to stave off the waterworks, but it was pointless.

Elian wiped his thumb across my cheek. He kissed me just as fiercely as before. This time it was him that broke away first. "I love you, Steven. And all I want is to make you happy."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. "I love you so much. I don't know how I got so lucky."

"Ditto."

I laughed. He'd been saying that since we watched Ghost a few days ago. For the first time, it didn't make me roll my eyes.

"Want to look up some apartments?" Elian asked.

I nodded, chewing on my lip.

He got up to go get his laptop off the dining room table. He returned and pulled me close. "We gotta make sure it's close to mine. Like walking distance close."

"Of course." I said, watching him type the location. Red dots appeared on the map to mark the listings in his area.

He pointed to a building with no dots. "That's where I live."

My stomach did a backflip. This was real. I was doing this. Holy shit!