The never ending story - a cam dallas fanfic

Chapter : 76

I lay my feet down on his lap , he grabs both my legs and slides me closer to him , i tilt my head back and laugh . He gets ahold of my hands and our fingers curl into each other as he climbs on top of me . My hands remove from his and i place them behind his neck . He leans in slow , to slow . I lift my head off the couch a little to lean in , our lips meet and my head goes back to the couch causing him to lean onto me even more both of his hands are on my sides for support and mine are stroking his hair . I lift my back off the couch and he sits down , breaking the kiss for a couple of seconds , i sit down on his lap , facing him and lean in again , he places my hair behind my ear . His hands are on my thighs , rubbing them my body shivers at his touch . Cameron crosses my mind wich causes me to pull away . I don't want to go far . What i'm doing is already bad and if i keep doing what i'm doing...it could all lead to some bad things that i want to avoid .
" I'm sorry...its just i- " i'm cutt off , he places his index finger on my bottom lips to silence me .
" Shh , its ok . You don't want to go too far too quick with things , i get it . " he smiles removing his hands from my thighs and cupping my face with his hands before kissing my nose . I slide one leg off his lap and and lay down before placing my leg on his lap again .
I'm happy he understands what i'm going through . The rest of the night is spent with cuddles , kisses , jokes... As much fun as i am having there is not a second that goes by the i don't think of Cameron , i should be doing all of these things with him .
It is 11:00 , and jack's phone buzzes , He gets a text .
" Shit , Marry isn't feeling to well . And there is nobody to sleep at the hospital with Johnson and she asked me to go . Can i drop you off at your house ? Do you have the key ? " he asks , sitting his back up straight .
" Umm , yeah i have it . " i say as i remove my feet from his lap .
" Wait...before we go... I need to tell you something . "
" yeah for sure what is it ? " he asks with a smile , adjusting himself in order to look at me .
" Okay . Jack you're a great guy and i really enjoy spending time with you and all but what i'm doing here is bad , bad for you...for me...for my realationship with you and with cameron . Imagine if he were to find out ? I really can't loose him but i hope i don't loose you either . I think its best if we just stay friends . " i explain . I'm sure he will not reactly well . But i needed to tell him before things go out of hand . I need Cameron more than anything in my life . I see the smile he had on his face disapear . Oh god , this won't end well . He puts his bottom lip in between his teeth , he looks down and nods . I feel terrible now .
" Yeah ok , this is exactly what i was talking about today at the hospital... You using me and than just leave me hanging . You took advantage of me and now your leaving . "
" Jack i'm sorry . I didn't use you... I tought...i tought " i stutter
" you tought what ? "
" i just... You just make me happy and i need you in my life . Maybe not like i need Cameron but you are by far one of the nicest guys i've met and if i hadn't came into you in the first place none of this would have happened . I'm sorry . I never meant to hurt you . " i explain , trying to stop the tears from coming but it is no use .
" Whatever... Its over now . You don't need to continue talking to me or even bother to say hi to me . I can't all put the blame on you i should have saw it coming , lets go... I'll drop you off and get this over with . "
He says standing up and grabbing his keys . I should have never done what i did , came onto him so quickly , the tears come on stronger and i can't stop them . Sasha told me how nice he was and how he shouldn't be used and she is right . He deserves none of this .
I sniff up my tears and follow him to the car . The drive is awkwardly quiet . I spend the whole time looking at the window and onto my phone .
He pulls up into my driveway .
I look down at my feet and whisper .
" thank you . " before wipping my tears with the sleeves of my sweater .
He looks down and nods . I open the car door and quickly get inside the house .
I go directly to Sasha's room . I turn on the lights .
" Ughh ! Who is it ?! " she groans sitting up straight . She squints her eyes and opens them . She flinches when she sees my eyes bloodshot .
" whoa ! What happened ? "
I sit on the corner of her bed .
" I told Jack that we should just stay friends before things go too far and he says he knew that this was gonna happen and i am using him and all that . " the tears come up again and i burry my head on her neck .
She pats my shoulder and lays her head on mine . She sighs , removing her head of mine and lifting my chin up to look at her .
" I knew this was going to happen , thats why i was affraid when you left to his house . Yeah you were happy but in the end you love Cameron and thats why i told you to do what makes you feel happy . But i knew that you would end up giving in and i also knew that he wouldn't take it well because even if you didn't use him...it kind of seems like you did..." She wippes a tear streaming down my cheek with her thumb . I smile , she always knows what to do .
" I'm going to send him a text to appolagize and ask if we can still be friends... Yeah i know unoriginal but i don't want to loose his friendship . " i explain fiddling with my thumbs .
" Like i said , do what you think is right . Personally i would do the same thing , he's a sweet guy and he never pressured you into doing things to soon . "
I tilt my head and nod in agreement .
" Ok ! Enough depressing boy shit ! " she exclaims and throws herself on the bed . I laugh and do the same .
" Hey , did you talk to Nash ? How are things with him and Miranda ? "
" I did talk to Nash last night and he said they are working things through and that she is less mad at him . He does think you are mad at him ."
" Why would he think that ? "
" He says you guys barely talk to each other nowadays and you seem cold when you talk to him and he hopes your not taking Miranda's side "
" First of all , he never calls me or texts me . I don't have to be the one always texting first and calling first . Second of all it is hard to look at him when he has ' feelings for me ' and i am not taking sides in their fight i have nothing to do with it...maybe i do but its not like its my fault he likes me . "
" you are right but he is your best friend and he needs someone and he has always been there for you so give him a call and you guys can go get lunch or something . " she suggests .
" ughh ! Fine , i will call him tommorrow and then i will appolagize to Jack " i state , markig my ground .
" As much as i love to talk about your fucked up love life . Its midnight and i want to sleep . " she wines .
" Fine . " I turn off the lights off her bedroom and close the door . I turn on the lights in the hallway and go to the kitchen...suprisingly i am not tired an full of energy .
I just sit on the stools and think about life for a bit...how fucked up shit is . How messed up just one word can ruin friendships , how you can make careless mistakes because while your doing them it feels like nothing...until the consequences pop up into your life . I hurt someone so innocent , someone who just wanted to make me happy , i used him for satisfactions . I hurt someone even sweeter , someone who i have shared all my secrets with...well not all of them . Someone who has always been there who i shared the most intimate moments with someone who my whole life almost depends on...its only that he doesen't know . I'm not planning on telling him about this any time soon .
I want to text nash first but i decide against it and text Jack .
To : jack gilinsky
Hey , i now you're mad and probably hate me but please here me out . I'm sorry for what i did . I wasn't planning for it to seem like i was using you , i wasn't and i swear it . I was having some problems with cameron and i was going to see if i could get my mind off things and move on for a little . I realise that i still love him but i really like you and i don't want to loose you , you've done nothing but be so sweet to me and i like you a lot for that . I hope we can still be friends . :)
Regardless that it is 12:30 am i don't care . I need to get this off my chest and tell the truth . I hope he reads it and thinks it through .
Now onto Nash .
To : NaaaaaShhh :):):)
Hey Nash , i know we haven't talked in a bit but i wan't you too know that i'm not mad and whatever is going on between you and Miranda is none of my buisness unless you need my help . You know i will always be here for you and i love you so so much . So to make up for it . How about some lunch ? Let me know . :)
I'm not going to stay awake until they reply so i decide to go to sleep and hopefully they will reply in the morning .
* 9 am , the next morning *
I woke up by natural causes . The first instinct i have is to grab my phone to see if i have any text messages .
I turn it one and i read
Message from : Jack Gilinsky , NaaaaShhh , BaBe .
I smile instantly .
I go ahead and check the first message from Jack .
From : Jack gilinsky
I could never hate you , i am mad but i don't hate you . I did overreact . I also don't want to loose you... You're a dime , your precious and i understand that you still love Cameron...he is always so nice to you and would give you the world if he could . I will forgive you . Don't worry . I just need some time to think . :)
An even bigger smile spreads across my face . He is so nice to forgive me , i never thought that he would . I won't ever hurt him again . He shouldn't be hurt .
I go on to the next text message .
It reads
From : NaaaaShhh
I am so goddanm happy your not mad , i miss you a lot . We have a lot to talk about so lunch sounds greats :):):)
He is always so sweet to me , i fuck up all the time and he just always supports me and forgives me . Its time i do the same .
The final text is from Cameron .
From : BaBe
Hey babe , i miss you so fucking much ! :( i can't wait to come back here and squeeze you to death . I love you ;) .
His text is the only one i reply to .
To : BaBe
I miss you more ! Comme back soon :) love you ! Have fun and good luck on your interview :):):) <3
I let out a small breath , i am happy that i am rebuilding my relationships with these three boys . I can't live without them . I hear a knock at the door and i make my way to the living room . I open up the door and i see athaly holding a bunch of dresses .
" Hey ! What are you doing here ? " i ask laughing and giving her a sign to come in .
" well ! I have a date with matt and i figured you could help me pick out what to wear ! " she smiles . Letting all her stuff go on the floor . She is wearing sweatpants and a black crop top and has a messy bun . When she does it , she looks gorgeous but when i do it i look like i've tried every drug in the world .
We go to my room and sit on my bed .
" I have to go too lunch with Nash so you can help me with what to wear ! "
" Sounds like a plan . " she smiles .
we enter my room and she sits down on my bed .
'' i need to tell you something '' she sighs , and rubs her temples .
'' sure , what is it ? ''
'' okay , matt wants to take me out on a expensive dinner but all i want to do tonight is go to a little restaurant and eat burgers and drink milkshakes . i don't know how to tell him tough . '' she explains . i understand what she is going trough . we all have those days that we don't want to dress up .
'' i think you should tell him how you feel , he will understand . i'm sure he doesen't want it as bad as you do . i don't know much boys that do . ''
she smiles and nods .
i help her pick out an outfit . She goes for the casual look , jeans and a simple shirt . I decide to wear a flannel and shorts with converse high tops . The rest of the day is fun , i catch up with her on everything . I don't tell her everything with Jack but i will . Before i know it it is 1:30 and it is time for me to drive to Nash's house . When i pull up into his driveway Cameron's car is parked . He mustv'e gone in a taxi . The door is unlocked so i let myself inside quietly . The house is clean... A little too clean . I go up the stairs and his door is also open . I go inside and he is shirtless with pants on .

" Nash , you should lock the doors you know ! " i laugh walking towards his bed .

He flinches in suprise .

" Shit ! You scared me . I forgot to lock them this morning when i went out to go to the pharmacy "

" How is the house so clean ? "

" I made it nice for Cameron when he comes back " he flushes .

It is amazing how these two care for each other so much .

" i know how he always needs everything to be clean . " he explains slidding on a black v-neck and slipping his shoes on .

I smile .

" Well...lets get going . We have a lot to catch up on " i say before leaving the room with him following me . I am happy but stressed for whatever might come at lunch .